Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that a good diet and exercise are not necessary for a health and long life. To what extant do you agree or disagree? v.3

Some people think that a good diet and exercise are not necessary for a health and long life. To what extant v. 3
In the modern world, due to the advancement of technology, we are always being watched. While some people think such monitoring system brings some drawbacks, I support the positive side of it and agree with those who think such technologies are more beneficial. Those who oppose the digital monitoring technology may argue that such systems infringe on our personal freedom. This is because since our every movement is tracked, some of us may feel uneasy and sometimes even insecure. For example, when we are shopping, the camera installed by the shop owner is recording our every movement. We sometimes feel uncomfortable as we do not know what they will do with the recording. As a result of all of these nowadays, some people do not prefer to enjoy their leisure time in public places as they used to do in the past. However, I think that like any other technology this innovation also brings endless benefits to our everyday life. Out of these the most significant one is that it strengthens our security system. For example, unlike a few decades ago, currently, we can refer the CCTV footage to catch a criminal or investigate a crime. Thus we can speed up the investigation process and also make the trial more efficient. Similarly, we can get immediate notification if someone is in danger. Therefore, in my opinion, it makes us feel more secure, rather than insecure. In conclusion, despite several arguments against the digital monitoring gadgets, I strongly support this arrangement as it makes our day-to-day life more secure and boosts efficiency in the security.
In the modern world, due to the advancement of
technology
, we are always being
watched
. While
some
people
think
such monitoring system brings
some
drawbacks, I support the
positive
side of it and
agree
with those who
think
such
technologies
are more beneficial.

Those who oppose the digital monitoring
technology
may argue that such systems infringe on our personal freedom. This is
because
since our every movement is
tracked
,
some
of us may feel uneasy and
sometimes
even insecure.
For example
, when we are shopping, the camera installed by the shop owner is recording our every movement.

We
sometimes
feel uncomfortable as we do not know what they will do with the recording.
As a result
of all of
these nowadays
,
some
people
do not prefer to enjoy their leisure time in public places as they
used
to do in the past.

However
, I
think
that like any other
technology
this innovation
also
brings endless benefits to our everyday life. Out of these the most significant one is that it strengthens our security system.
For example
, unlike a few decades ago,
currently
, we can refer the CCTV footage to catch a criminal or investigate a crime.
Thus
we can
speed up
the investigation process and
also
make
the trial more efficient.
Similarly
, we can
get
immediate notification if someone is in
danger
.
Therefore
, in my opinion, it
makes
us feel more secure,
rather
than insecure.

In conclusion
, despite several arguments against the digital monitoring gadgets, I
strongly
support this arrangement as it
makes
our day-to-day life more secure and boosts efficiency in the security.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that a good diet and exercise are not necessary for a health and long life. To what extant v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
264 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts