Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Culture is turning similar around the world. What are the reasons? What are the negative and positive aspects? v.4

Culture is turning similar around the world. What are the reasons? What are the negative and positive aspects? v. 4
These days the proportion of machinery usage has replaced the handheld tasks and considered as an advantage while others regarding it as disadvantages. In my opinion, it is a positive development as it facilitates nations development. On the one hand, utilisation of machines will cut down the labour cost and in turn incline the nation's economy. In other words, it is advantageous to replace the workforce by engines as tasks would be accomplished will be relatively quicker with one person. To illustrate this, at restaurants, chopping vegetables in bulk quantity can quickly be done by using a food processor by a chef instead of hiring several kitchen hands. In a recent survey, the data illustrated that the current production rate has inclined by 30% when compared with the data of the past decade. On the other hand, some people regarded machinery as a negative development as it is inclining the unemployment rate significantly. Consequently, Organizations incorporating advanced machinery to avoid staff expenses like wages and insurances. To illustrate this, the banking sector has cut down its staff by replacing it with self-serving machines like ATMs to deal with transactions, and this has raised the unemployment rate remarkably. In a recent news article, it was stated that the unemployment rate is touching the sky and in turn, nations progress is affecting. In conclusion, the country's economy is booming high with the usage of machinery, but at the same time, the unemployment rate is rising at the same amount. Moreover, Advance tools are performing tasks at a quicker phase compared to the workforce.
These days the proportion of
machinery
usage has replaced the handheld tasks and considered as an advantage while others regarding it as disadvantages. In my opinion, it is a
positive
development as it facilitates nations development.

On the one hand,
utilisation
of machines will
cut
down the
labour
cost and in turn incline the nation's economy.
In other words
, it is advantageous to replace the workforce by engines as tasks would
be accomplished
will be
relatively
quicker with one person. To illustrate this, at restaurants, chopping vegetables in bulk quantity can
quickly
be done
by using a food processor by a chef
instead
of hiring several kitchen hands. In a recent survey, the data illustrated that the
current
production
rate
has inclined by 30% when compared with the data of the past decade.

On the other hand
,
some
people
regarded
machinery
as a
negative
development as it is inclining the
unemployment
rate
significantly
.
Consequently
, Organizations incorporating advanced
machinery
to avoid staff expenses like wages and insurances. To illustrate this, the banking sector has
cut
down its staff by replacing it with self-serving machines like ATMs to deal with transactions, and this has raised the
unemployment
rate
remarkably
. In a recent news article, it
was stated
that the
unemployment
rate
is touching the sky and in turn, nations progress is affecting.

In conclusion
, the country's economy is booming high with the usage of
machinery
,
but
at the same time, the
unemployment
rate
is rising at the same amount.
Moreover
, Advance tools are performing tasks at a quicker phase compared to the workforce.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Culture is turning similar around the world. What are the reasons? What are the negative and positive aspects? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts