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People should be responsible for the pollution problems caused by transportation, while others think the government should be held accountable. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

People should be responsible for the pollution problems caused by transportation, while others think the government should be held accountable. v. 1
Unhealthy transportation practises often result in causing environmental hazards. While there are conflicting views on who should be held accountable for the pollution caused, I believe that it is the combined duty of both the people and the government, to ensure responsible actions in order to minimize damages to our planet. Firstly, if citizens adopt greener transportation habits such as using more public transport, car-pools, walking, bicycling or even purchasing electric vehicles, instead of using private cars, there will be a greater improvement in the ecological conditions of the city. For instance, when the pollution levels reached staggering limits in New Delhi, many people opted to car-pool in order to help to make a difference collectively. It was observed that the personal action on part of the people did indeed help in reducing traffic, and in turn, also decreased the harmful fuels emitted by cars. Alternately, it is only the government that can incorporate environment friendly legislations in its policies and impose stricter punishments for violations of transportation rules. Furthermore, our elected officials can even start organising a number of awareness workshops for both students and professionals about the harmful effects of bad transportation choices. For example, a new transportation policy was introduced the previous year which banned the use of private vehicles for three days in a week. This led to a direct increase in the number of people walking and using public transport, resulting in a massive improvement in the air pollution index quality. Finally, I strongly believe that the responsibility and accountability of taking care of our home lies in the hands of both the people and the government. Until the people do not start inculcating responsible habits, together with the government who does not increase its vigilance regarding the same, along with introducing greener practises, Earth will continue to suffer. To conclude, people and the government need to work hand-in-hand to combat environmental pollution caused by transportation and the responsibility lies in the hands of both.
Unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
Possible spelling mistake. 'practises' is British English.
practises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
result in causing environmental hazards. While there are conflicting views on who should
be held
accountable for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
caused, I believe that it is the combined duty of both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, to ensure responsible actions in order to minimize damages to our planet.

Firstly
, if citizens adopt greener
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
habits such as using more public transport, car-pools, walking, bicycling or even purchasing electric vehicles,
instead
of using private cars, there will be a greater improvement in the ecological conditions of the city.
For instance
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
levels reached staggering limits in New Delhi,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opted to car-pool in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a difference
collectively
. It
was observed
that the personal action on part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did
indeed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in reducing traffic, and in turn,
also
decreased the harmful fuels emitted by cars.

Alternately
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
that can incorporate environment friendly
Possible spelling mistake found.
legislations
in its policies and impose stricter punishments for violations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
Furthermore
, our elected officials can even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
a number of awareness workshops for both students and professionals about the harmful effects of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
choices.
For example
, a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
policy
was introduced
the previous year which banned the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of private vehicles for three days in a week. This led to a direct increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
walking and using public transport, resulting in a massive improvement in the air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
index quality.

Finally
, I
strongly
believe that the responsibility and accountability of taking care of our home lies in the hands of both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. Until the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
inculcating responsible habits, together with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
who does not increase its vigilance regarding the same, along with introducing greener
Possible spelling mistake. 'practises' is British English.
practises
, Earth will continue to suffer.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
need to work hand-in-hand to combat environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
and the responsibility lies in the hands of both.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay People should be responsible for the pollution problems caused by transportation, while others think the government should be held accountable. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
330 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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