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Some people think paying taxes is a big enough contribution to their society, while others think people have more responsibilities as members of society than only paying taxes. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think paying taxes is a big enough contribution to their society, while others think people have more responsibilities as members of society than only paying taxes. v. 1
One of the most debatable issues in the last decade has been the individual's contribution to the society. Some people think that financial support, in the form of taxes, is a sufficiet contributation, while others believe that citizens have much more responsibilities to the community. In my opinion, people have many obligations, aside from taxes, to their surroundings in order to maintain a well balanced society. The most important aspect in maintaining a good and functional society is financial support. This support is gained through taxes paid to the administration by the local citizens. By using these funds, the government is able to maintain good infrastructures, such as public transportation, clean cities and public play grounds for children. According to the New York Times, for examples, cities with larger funds have better education systems, less crime, and higher paid salaries. This demonstrates, that local taxes are directly associated with a better society, and hence represents the most important contribution given by the local people. In contrast to the above mentioned, other people believe that besides taxes, there are other, non financial obligations, such as volunteer work, that are much more important. Through volunteer work, like assisting the elderly in hospitals and cooking for homeless people, we are able to generate a better, more tolerant environment, and teach our children how to contribute to our surrounding. As a result, we are able to improve our community, and generate a better society. In conclusion, while taxes are important, there are other activities people can do, namely volunteer work, which contribute to our society. I believe that by actively spending time helping needed people, rather than just paying taxes, we contribute much more, becuase we engage and communicate with other people. Consequently learning about our surroundings much more. We should be proactive and contribute.
One of the most debatable issues in the last decade has been the individual's contribution to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that financial support, in the form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
, is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
sufficiet
Possible spelling mistake found.
contributation
, while others believe that citizens have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more responsibilities to the community. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
obligations, aside from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
, to their surroundings in order to maintain a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well balanced
society.

The most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
aspect in maintaining a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and functional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is financial support. This support
is gained
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
paid to the administration by the local citizens. By using these funds, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is able to maintain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
infrastructures, such as public transportation, clean cities and public play grounds for children. According to the New York Times, for examples, cities with larger funds have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
education systems, less crime, and higher paid salaries. This demonstrates, that local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
are
directly
associated with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, and
hence
represents the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
contribution
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In contrast
to the above mentioned,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
besides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
,
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non financial
obligations, such as volunteer work, that are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
. Through volunteer work, like assisting the elderly in hospitals and cooking for homeless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, we are able to generate a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
, more tolerant environment, and teach our children how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contribute
to our surrounding.
As a result
, we are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our community, and generate a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
society.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
activities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can do,
namely
volunteer work, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contribute
to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. I believe that by
actively
spending time helping needed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contribute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more,
Possible spelling mistake found.
becuase
we engage and communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
learning about our surroundings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more. We should be proactive and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contribute
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think paying taxes is a big enough contribution to their society, while others think people have more responsibilities as members of society than only paying taxes. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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