Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think parents should be forced to attend childcare course to learn how to take care of their children. Do you agree v.1

Some people think parents should be forced to attend childcare course to learn how to take care of their children. Do you agree v. 1
In every time parent's knowledge and experience always have a big effect on their child. But now day, a lot of parent don't have the knowledge to raise a child; they just took their kid to school, and let the teacher take over. I think how to build a child to improve their true potential is the parent attend childcare courses, and it would help them to raise a youngster. So I agree a forced couples to attend a parenting course. Firstly, Parents influences their child's behaviour, growth, health, indirectly because children like a sponge they do the same things that the father or mother does. So if the parent doesn't know about being a "true parent" also their kids negative examples can be influenced to a child's development and can lead to bad behaviour. Secondly, a lot of parents, when having the first child, will feel disturbed when raising their children. From take care of them when they are babies, toddler age, to choose school when they in child age, how to deal with child poverty. The courses will help parents learn what their child needs at each developmental stage as well as prepare for the next stages for them. I think if the parent knows and be prepared in each stage they. Will raise their child with good qualities. Next, I think born and raise a child is very hard; when you decide to have a baby and raise them, you need a lot of courage and determination. And I think the key to be a good parent is confidence, so I think to attend a childcare course not only to prepare knowledge to be a parent but also mentally for them. In conclusion, I believe that childcare will help parents to understand their kids and raise them in the best way.
In every time parent's knowledge and experience always have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
effect on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
don't have the knowledge to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raise
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
; they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
took their kid to school, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the teacher take over. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
how to build a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their true potential is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
attend childcare courses, and it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raise
a youngster.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
a forced
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "couple"?
couples
to attend a parenting course.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
influences their child's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, growth, health,
indirectly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
children like a sponge they do the same things that the father or mother does.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
doesn't know about being a
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
true parent
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
also
their kids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
examples can
be influenced
to a child's development and can lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, when having the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
, will feel disturbed when raising their children. From take care of them when they are babies, toddler age, to choose school when they in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
age, how to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
poverty. The courses will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
learn what their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
needs at each developmental stage
as well
as prepare for the
next
stages for them. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
knows and
be prepared
in each stage they. Will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raise
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
qualities.

Next
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
born and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raise
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
; when you decide to have a baby and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raise
them, you need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
courage and determination. And I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
the key to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
is confidence,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
to attend a childcare course not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to prepare knowledge to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
mentally for them.

In conclusion
, I believe that childcare will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to understand their kids and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raise
them in the best way.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think parents should be forced to attend childcare course to learn how to take care of their children. Do you agree v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
304 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts