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Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will provide better care for their kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.4

Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will provide better care for their kids. v. 4
It becomes difficult for working parents take care of their children when they are out for work. Some parents feel that leaving them at the day care centres is better while others feel that it is better to leave them with the family members like their grandparents. This essay will discuss both the views in detail and provide evidence for my opinion as to why it is better to leave them with the family members. It becomes very difficult, to leave the kids behind in costly day care centres. Such places provide the facilities of providing tuition, meals, and many more. Therefore, parents become tension free that with the security the education is also being taken care of. However, leaving the kids with strangers also becomes very risky. Parents fall in complete dilemma as to how to take care of them once they're at work. So leaving them with the grandparents becomes the best option. Whether it is their security, food, education or anything, just like parents, with the same love and affection they are taken care of. Through this it helps them to build a strong bond in their relationship and save money as well. To conclude, it becomes a debatable situation for parents to decide who can provide better care of their children. But, it is proved in many ways that family is the safest place where the kids can be most secure with, rather than putting them among strangers at some uncomfortable & unreliable place.
It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
difficult for working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their children when they are out for work.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
feel that leaving them at the day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
while others feel that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
them with the family members like their grandparents. This essay will discuss both the views in detail and provide evidence for my opinion as to why it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
them with the family members.

It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the kids behind in costly day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
. Such places provide the facilities of providing tuition, meals, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
tension free that with the security the education is
also
being taken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of.
However
, leaving the kids with strangers
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
risky.

Parents fall in complete dilemma as to how to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of them once they're at work.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
leaving them with the grandparents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
the best option. Whether it is their security, food, education or anything,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, with the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and affection they
are taken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of. Through this it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to build a strong bond in their relationship and save money
as well
.

To conclude
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
a debatable situation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to decide who can provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their children.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, it
is proved
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways that family is the safest place where the kids can be most secure with,
rather
than putting them among strangers at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
uncomfortable & unreliable place.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will provide better care for their kids. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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