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Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. v.12

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. v. 12
Learning a different language becomes a must for children nowadays. Experts focus on when children should start learning it. Some of them suggest learning a foreign language from elementary school but some prefer to start from junior high school. For me, I agree children should learn a new language earlier. Experts who support children to learn a foreign language from secondary school think children have to learn their first language better to keep their culture. Also, they think a junior high school student is mature enough to learn a new language well. For example, for Chinese, there are lots of poetry written only by mandarin. This is part of traditional culture. However, I think that when children study a new language, they can learn the traditional culture at the same time. Moreover, children can learn about different cultures from different languages and become a better person. For example, In western countries, the relationship between parents and children is getting along as a friend. By contrast, in Asian families, parents and children treat each other with more respect and politeness. Thus, starting to learn a foreign language at a younger age can provide an opportunity for children to get to know and think from a different perspective. On the other hand, some experts suggest children learn a foreign language at primary school, they think if children learn it at an early age, they will learn it more effectively because a human’s memory was better at that time. Also, an elementary student can learn English by games, which means he or she does not have the huge stress of preparing an exam to enter high school. For example, from my experience, I started to learn English when I was 5 years old. During that time, learning English is really natural and spontaneous for me. Teachers played games with us in English. I do not even remember how I learned my first sentence. It is just the same as I learned my native language. And after I had a basic understanding of English, I had an interest in learning it as well. For me, it is just a tool to read more books and play more games, without stress. In conclusion, due to my experience, I think the benefits of children learning a foreign language from primary school overweigh the shortages. They can not only learn a new language in an easier way with interest, but also learn different cultures and integrate them to make themselves better.
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Learning
a
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different
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language
becomes a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for
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children
nowadays. Experts focus on when
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children
should
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start
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learning
it.
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Some
of them suggest
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learning
a
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foreign
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language
from elementary
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school
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but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
from junior high
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school
. For me, I
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agree
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children
should
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learn
a
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new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
earlier.

Experts who support
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children
to
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learn
a
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foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
from secondary
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school
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think
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children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
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learn
their
first
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language
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better
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
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culture
.
Also
, they
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think
a junior high
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school
student is mature
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enough
to
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learn
a
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new
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language
well.
For example
, for Chinese, there are lots of poetry written
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by mandarin. This is part of traditional culture.

However
, I
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think
that when
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children
study a
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new
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language
, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the traditional
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culture
at the same time.
Moreover
,
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children
can
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learn
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
and become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
person.
For example
, In western countries, the relationship between parents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is getting along as a friend. By contrast, in Asian families, parents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
treat each other with more respect and politeness.
Thus
, starting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at a younger age can provide an opportunity for
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children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know and
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think
from a
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different
perspective.

On the other hand
,
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some
experts suggest
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children
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learn
a
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foreign
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language
at primary
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school
, they
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think
if
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children
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learn
it at an early age, they will
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learn
it more
effectively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a human’s memory was
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better
at that time.
Also
, an elementary student can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
English by games, which means he or she does not have the huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of preparing an exam to enter high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
For example
, from my experience, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
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learn
English when I was 5 years
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old
. During that time,
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learning
English is
really
natural and spontaneous for me. Teachers played games with us in English. I do not even remember how I learned my
first
sentence. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the same as I learned my native
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language
. And after I had a basic understanding of English, I had an interest in
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learning
it
as well
. For me, it is
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just
a tool to read more books and play more games, without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

In conclusion
, due to my experience, I
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think
the benefits of
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children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a
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foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
from primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweigh
the shortages. They can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in an easier way with interest,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and integrate them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
themselves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
81Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. v. 12

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
414 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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