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Some people think parents are responsible for transporting their children to school while others believe it is the responsibility of the government? Discuss both sides and give your opinion? v.1

Some people think parents are responsible for transporting their children to school while others believe it is the responsibility of the government? v. 1
With the stready growth in modernization; the lifestyles of people have been greatly affected. They have achieved various milestones however some issues remain unchallenged and as complex as ever. one such issue here is of who has the responsibility for picking up and to drop their children to school; Authorities or Parents? Through this essay, I shall explore the dimensions of this topic through examples and assertions and shape up my opinion by the end. Taking one side of the argument, there are people who believe that it is the responsibility of their parents to bring their children to school on their own. They raise many assertions in defence such as drunken driver' s who put their children life at risk so it is reasonable why parents want to make their children under supervision. A recent survey conducted by Hindustan times reveal that On every 7 out of 10 school bus drivers in India are drug addicted which resulted in number of accidents and injured plenty of innocent pupils. In addition to this, some students get bullied by number of other adolescents which lowers down the self esteem of the former student and this problem might lead to major issues in a long run including fear of school or depression. On the flip side, there are antagonists to this assertions who believe that it is the key responsibilty of the government to pick and drop every student from their home to school and vice versa. They bolster their view point by claiming that in this competitive era every parent of children need to work hard day and night to fulfill the demand of their well beings. To make their arguments more convincing they claim that it is the primary responsibility of the government as they have already number of responsibilities on their shoulder which stuck their life for the past years. They further refer to example of working parents who don' t have enough time so that they can drop their children to school. Nevertheless, weighing both the options, I believe that there is no single conclusion still, I take this ground that an effective clap require both use of hands so efforts have been done by both sides to find the safest and cleaner mode of transportation.
With the
Possible spelling mistake found.
stready
growth in modernization; the lifestyles of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have been
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
. They have achieved various milestones
however
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues remain unchallenged and as complex as ever.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
one
such issue here is of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
for picking up and to drop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
; Authorities or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
? Through this essay, I shall explore the dimensions of this topic through examples and assertions and shape up my opinion by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

Taking one side of the argument, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe that it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to bring their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. They raise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
assertions in
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
such as drunken
Possible spelling mistake found.
driver&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
put their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
life at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is reasonable why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
under supervision. A recent survey conducted by Hindustan times reveal that On every 7 out of 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
bus drivers in India are drug addicted which resulted in number of accidents and injured
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of innocent pupils.
In addition
to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bullied by number of other adolescents which lowers down the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self esteem
of the former student and this problem might lead to major issues in a long run including fear of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or depression.

On the flip side, there are antagonists to
Did you mean "these"?
this
assertions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe that it is the key
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsibilty
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to pick and drop every student from their home to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and vice versa. They bolster their view point by claiming that in this competitive era every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "needs"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'need' is not always incorrect.)
need
to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
day and night to fulfill the demand of their well beings. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their arguments more convincing they claim that it is the primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
as they have already number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
on their shoulder which stuck their life for the past years. They
further
refer to example of working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can drop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to school.

Nevertheless
, weighing both the options, I believe that there is no single conclusion
still
, I take this ground that an effective clap require both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of hands
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
efforts have
been done
by both sides to find the safest and cleaner mode of transportation.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think parents are responsible for transporting their children to school while others believe it is the responsibility of the government? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
378 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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