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4. Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

4. Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. v. 2
Nowadays, many people choose to become vegetarian since a vegetarian diet is believed to be better for the human healthy. Although I agree that eating only vegetarian food will make our body become well. But sometimes this diet has some disadvantages with people who eat that every day. On the one hand, there are various reasons why becoming used vegetable is beneficial. Firstly, science proved that the vegetarian has better healthy than people who are not vegetarian. They have lower risks of developing several chronic illnesses such as heart attack, diabetes some forms of cancer. This is due to the fact that a healthy vegetarian diet is a typically low fat and high fiber. Secondly, eating vegetables provide nutritious to support the human body. For example, banana is a great source of vitamin A, K, E as well as calcium. As a result, instead of eating many kinds of food to get this vitamin, we need to eating a banana. On the other hand, there are several demerits which people must be pondered before vegetarian. Firstly, the vegetarian is not balance every day, he or she might suffer from a lack of calories to meet his or her energy. They will feel tired and they cannot do strong activities. Moreover, some nutrients might not be finding in vegetarian. It just is find in meat and fish. If people just be eating a vegetarian diet, they will be incomplete nutrients. Vegetarians use to West’s method in the cooking diet should change the way to processing food. In conclusion, although healthy, a vegetarian diet is not for everyone and it requires care in the choice of foods and preparation of meals
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to become vegetarian since a vegetarian diet
is believed
to be better for the human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
vegetarian food will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our body become well.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
this diet has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who eat that every day.

On the one hand, there are various reasons why becoming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
vegetable is beneficial.
Firstly
, science proved that the vegetarian has better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are not vegetarian. They have lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of developing several chronic illnesses such as heart attack, diabetes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
forms of cancer.
This is due to the fact that
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
vegetarian diet is a
typically
low
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and high fiber.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
vegetables provide nutritious to support the human body.
For example
, banana is a great source of vitamin A, K, E
as well
as calcium.
As a result
,
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds of
Did you mean "foods"?
food
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
this vitamin, we need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
a banana.

On the other hand
, there are several demerits which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be pondered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
vegetarian.
Firstly
, the vegetarian is not balance every day, he or she might suffer from a lack of calories to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
energy. They will feel tired and they cannot do strong activities.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nutrients might not be finding in vegetarian. It
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
is
Consider using a past participle here: "found".
find
in meat and fish. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
a vegetarian diet, they will be incomplete nutrients. Vegetarians
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to West’s method in the cooking diet should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the way to processing food.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
, a vegetarian diet is not for everyone and it requires care in the choice of foods and preparation of meals
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay 4. Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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