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Some people think painting and drawing are as important as other subjects, they should be compulsory in the high school education. v.2

Some people think painting and drawing are as important as other subjects, they should be compulsory in the high school education. v. 2
Few people hold the idea that visual arts subjects, such as painting and drawing should be added to high school curriculum as compulsory subjects, because they are equally important as other courses. this essay supports the same view and will discuss the importance of such subjects in the forthcoming paragraph, followed by the reasoned conclusion. To begin with, there are several rationales to justify, making art and painting compulsory in high school. On the first hand, visual art is just not about painting and drawing, instead, it will help students to develop necessary life skills, viz. perspective, creativity, and social understandings. According to a survey, it is claimed that integrating arts with other subjects, can raise academic performance, as visual arts is associated with improved literacy. Secondly, it is the responsibility of schools to offer the students with wide range of careers, so that they may have many options available to choose from. For instance, if a student is poor in core subjects, he could have these arts subjects as an alternative to pursue further. however, on the contrary, those who oppose to this says that, making arts compulsory in high school, is not a wise decision, as only those students can reap the benefits of such subjects, who are passionate about such subjects. To be more specific, not interested pupils will take such subject as a burden and will cover it half-heartedly, only to pass that respected course. however, I would say that, to relive the academic burden among students, courses that boost creativity should be a mandatory part of the curriculum. To conclude, although painting and drawing are not every ones cup of tea, still these courses are important for learners at the secondary level.
Few
people
hold the
idea
that visual
arts
subjects
, such as
painting
and drawing should be
added
to high
school
curriculum as compulsory
subjects
,
because
they are
equally
important
as other
courses
.
this
essay supports the same view and will discuss the importance of such
subjects
in the forthcoming paragraph, followed by the reasoned conclusion.

To
begin
with, there are several rationales to justify, making
art
and
painting
compulsory in high
school
. On the
first
hand, visual
art
is
just
not about
painting
and drawing,
instead
, it will
help
students
to develop necessary life
skills
, viz. perspective, creativity, and social understandings. According to a survey, it
is claimed
that integrating
arts
with other
subjects
, can raise academic performance, as visual
arts
is associated
with
improved
literacy.
Secondly
, it is the responsibility of
schools
to offer the
students
with wide range of careers,
so
that they may have
many
options available to choose from.
For instance
, if a
student
is poor in core
subjects
, he could have these
arts
subjects
as an alternative to pursue
further
.

however
,
on the contrary
, those who oppose to this says that, making
arts
compulsory in high
school
, is not a wise decision, as
only
those
students
can reap the benefits of such
subjects
, who are passionate about such
subjects
. To be more specific, not interested pupils will take such
subject
as a burden and will cover it half-
heartedly
,
only
to pass that respected
course
.
however
, I would say that, to relive the academic burden among
students
,
courses
that boost creativity should be a mandatory part of the curriculum.

To conclude
, although
painting
and drawing are not every
ones
cup of tea,
still
these
courses
are
important
for learners at the secondary level.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think painting and drawing are as important as other subjects, they should be compulsory in the high school education. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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