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The responsibility for the environment rests with the individual and not only with the government. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

The responsibility for the environment rests with the individual and not only with the government. v. 2
The environment plays an imperative role in the survival of living organisms. The environment has become a major concern over the last couple of decades, resulting in several debates on who should be responsible for ensuring its sustenance for our future generations. Is it the government or an individual who has to protect it? I profoundly believe that individuals should take the initiation to save our environment. To start with, people should be responsible for the waste they produce in their day to day life. To elaborate, if people throw harmful rubbish in society, it may lead to land pollution and thus create disturbances for other organisms which depend on land resources for food. For instance, organisms such as cows, goats, and other animals rely on the food which is available on the land and if the rubbish includes plastics, it may damage their digestive systems and this, in turn, would create ecological imbalances. Hence, people should be cautious of what kind of waste materials are thrown in the dumping yards. Additionally, the water bodies have to be protected by an individual. It is because, industries, which are run by people dump the wastes into rivers and nearby lakes which ultimately causes health issues to the people who consume it. For instance, the higher authorities of such industries should impose high taxes or set up laws that ban the toxic emissions from factories directly into watercourses. This could cause less air and water pollution which could guarantee the good health of citizens. Therefore, it is the prime duty of an individual to protect our environment. To conclude, environmental problems could be severe if we neglect, hence it has to be addressed immediately. I strongly believe that an individual is the one who can bring change into society by putting little effort in their daily life to see a huge difference.
The environment plays an imperative role in the survival of living organisms. The environment has become a major concern over the last couple of decades, resulting in several debates on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
should be responsible for ensuring its sustenance for our future generations. Is it the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
or an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
protect it? I
profoundly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
should take the initiation to save our environment.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be responsible for the waste they produce in their
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
life. To elaborate, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
throw harmful rubbish in society, it may lead to land pollution and
thus
create disturbances for other organisms which depend on land resources for food.
For instance
, organisms such as cows, goats, and other animals rely on the food which is available on the land and if the rubbish includes plastics, it may damage their digestive systems and this, in turn, would create ecological imbalances.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be cautious of what kind of waste materials
are thrown
in the dumping yards.

Additionally
, the water bodies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be protected
by an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, industries, which
are run
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dump the wastes into rivers and nearby lakes which
ultimately
causes health issues to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
consume it.
For instance
, the higher authorities of such industries should impose high taxes or set up laws that ban the toxic emissions from factories
directly
into watercourses. This could cause less air and water pollution which could guarantee the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health of citizens.
Therefore
, it is the prime duty of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
to protect our environment.

To conclude
, environmental problems could be severe if we neglect,
hence
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be addressed
immediately. I
strongly
believe that an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
is the one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
into society by putting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
effort in their daily life to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a huge difference.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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IELTS essay The responsibility for the environment rests with the individual and not only with the government. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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