Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through internet, and they can study just as well at home. To what extent do agree or disagree? v.5

Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through internet, and they can study just as well at home. v. 5
Schools play an integral part in the life of a student to be a successful person. But, in this contemporary era, it is often argued that the internet is enough to gather information and gain knowledge instead of going to a traditional school for learning. However, I profoundly believe that having a physical teacher could benefit a child as they can interact with them in person and clear the doubts. Secondly, a school is important for children because they come across many other students of their age which is important to their growth. To start with, there is a vast difference between having a teacher to be discussed face to face and the information available online. To elaborate, a teacher can be reached at any time of the day in person at the school and a child can discuss his problems or doubts which could be explained in a simplified way by providing examples, whereas, the information available on the internet has no such facility, and thus leave a student without understanding the concept. For instance, more than half of the school going students in India when interviewed, opted to have a teacher because they can gain knowledge and improve better understanding. Additionally, a school is a place where students not only express their performance under the guidance of a teacher but also make friends who could help them in learning. To elaborate, a child can learn quickly and also enhance themselves in many skills such as writing and speaking with their peers, if they are at school. Moreover, this would make a child be a co-operative, tolerant and sociable person which could be beneficial in the future. Furthermore, students can be well-educated only with the tutorial from their teachers and communication with their classmates. To conclude, although the internet allows people to access it without any age limit, in my perspective going to a school not only makes a child understand the concepts better but also makes them a good citizen as they know how to behave socially.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
play an integral part in the life of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to be a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, in this contemporary era, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that the internet is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to gather information and gain knowledge
instead
of going to a traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for learning.
However
, I
profoundly
believe that having a physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
could benefit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
as they can interact with them in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
the doubts.
Secondly
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of their age which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to their growth.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, there is a vast difference between having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
to
be discussed
face to face and the information available online. To elaborate, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
can
be reached
at any time of the day in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
can discuss his problems or doubts which could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
Consider replacing "in a simplified way" with the adverb for "simplified"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a simplified way
by providing examples, whereas, the information available on the internet has no such facility, and
thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
without understanding the concept.
For instance
, more than half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in India when interviewed, opted to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can gain knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
better understanding.

Additionally
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is a place where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
express their performance under the guidance of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
friends who could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in learning. To elaborate, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
can learn
quickly
and
also
enhance themselves in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as writing and speaking with their peers, if they are at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Moreover
, this would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
be a co-operative, tolerant and sociable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
which could be beneficial in the future.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can be well-educated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with the tutorial from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and communication with their classmates.

To conclude
, although the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to access it without any age limit, in my perspective going to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
understand the concepts better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizen as they know how to behave
socially
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through internet, and they can study just as well at home. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts