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Some people think only online reading should only be used for a child to learn to read whereas others believe only printed material should be used. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think only online reading should only be used for a child to learn to read whereas others believe only printed material should be used. v. 1
It is argued that children should only be allowed accessing online reading materials learning reading while others think that they should provide only hard materials. I presume that soft online materials can be more beneficial in several ways for a youngster than printed documents, though there are some problems with online resources. On the one hand, the consequences of online reading can deleterious for the physical and mental health of a young. Firstly, If children read any book on their smartphone or laptop for a longer period regularly, it can cause eye stain problem. This is because screen resolutes rays detrimental for our eye and it may result in early blindness. A recent report of the New York Times claimed that approximately more than a quarter of juveniles are suffering from eye-related diseases because of excessive use of electronic gadgets. More importantly, indulging in digital devices at the time of reading books, a youngster can be suffering from mental problems. This can be explained by the fact that as they are immature, when they passed time in online reading, they can also browse sides such as online video portal or other harmful videos, for example, pornography that may impact the severe bad influence of their psychological health. However, I assume these drawbacks can be minimized by taking proper guidelines and giving moral lessons by parents and teachers. On the other hand, online materials can open a door of vast resources of knowledge in front of youngsters. This is because with the invention of the internet, it becomes possible bringing a huge amount of materials of different cultures and history into online that any person can access using the internet and this obviously fulfills the trust of knowledge of youngs. Besides, the online book can be built with several features such as a built-in-dictionary, audio version and higher resolution pictures that give the greater benefit of learning reading than an old-fashioned printed copy. Juveniles could be motivated by the alternative feature of online books that pave their way of learning. In conclusion, although online resources of reading can cause eye-strain difficulty and damage psychological health, they can be blessed with countless materials with lucrative features that grow their interest in reading. It is recommended that the government should take proper steps for making available online books with enough security in the primary schools.
It
is argued
that children should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
accessing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they should provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
. I presume that soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
can be more beneficial in several ways for a youngster than printed documents, though there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
resources.

On the one hand, the consequences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
can deleterious for the physical and mental health of a young.
Firstly
, If children read any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
on their smartphone or laptop for a longer period
regularly
, it can cause eye stain problem. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
screen
Possible spelling mistake found.
resolutes
rays detrimental for our eye and it may result in early blindness. A recent report of the New York Times claimed that approximately more than a quarter of juveniles are suffering from eye-related diseases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of electronic gadgets. More
importantly
, indulging in digital devices at the time of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, a youngster can be suffering from mental problems. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by the fact that as they are immature, when they passed time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
, they can
also
browse sides such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
video portal or other harmful videos,
for example
, pornography that may impact the severe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence of their psychological health.
However
, I assume these drawbacks can
be minimized
by taking proper guidelines and giving moral lessons by parents and teachers.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
can open a door of vast resources of knowledge in front of youngsters. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
with the invention of the internet, it becomes possible bringing a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and history into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
that any person can access using the internet and this
obviously
fulfills the trust of knowledge of
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "young", the plural form of the noun 'young'?
youngs
.
Besides
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
can
be built
with several features such as a built-in-dictionary, audio version and higher resolution pictures that give the greater benefit of learning
If 'learning' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to read".
reading
than an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned printed copy. Juveniles could
be motivated
by the alternative feature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
that pave their way of learning.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
resources of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
can cause eye-strain difficulty and damage psychological health, they can
be blessed
with countless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
with lucrative features that grow their interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
. It
is recommended
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take proper steps for making available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
security in the primary schools.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think only online reading should only be used for a child to learn to read whereas others believe only printed material should be used. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
392 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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