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Some people believe that online reading material should only be used for a child to learn to read, whereas, other believe only printed material should be used. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people believe that online reading material should only be used for a child to learn to read, whereas, other believe only printed material should be used. v. 2
Online learning and reading have indeed become increasingly popular activity nowadays due to the advent of technology. While some argue that traditional printed books are more beneficial for the children, I, however, agree with those who hold the opinion that online learning is more advantageous for the child to learn to read. On the one hand, it could be thought that children can learn very well through printed material. As in the pre-technological era, the traditional method was followed by all schools and universities around the world to teach students reading. For example, this is the reason even today in India most of the schools in rural areas, implement this approach, where technology still has not introduced yet. Moreover, it could be said that books generally the child a sense of touching which often encourages them to complete book by keeping targets how many pages have to finish. Consequently, not only does the child motivate to achieve learning targets, but also it prevents them from distracting mind in other activities. On the other hand, I would argue that reading and learning is more accessible for youngsters if it is taught through online sources. Since online learning and reading allow them to access easily regardless of the time and place respectively, which means that offspring are free to use it anytime according to their convenience. Furthermore, online material is always up to date, whereas, this content is missing in printed books because children tend to learn and read in a fun way by watching videos and listening to songs. As a result, they can learn more easily and quickly. For instance, a survey conducted by the New York Times found that 60% of offspring who learn online reading are more active to catch anything through videos rather than children who follow printed books. In conclusion, although children sometimes motivated by accepting challenges to complete reading targets, online line learning usually allows children to learn reading more quickly and that would be at one’s convenience. Therefore, on balance, I strongly believe that online material should be used not only for reading but also for learning.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
have
indeed
become
increasingly
popular activity nowadays due to the advent of technology. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are more beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, I,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who hold the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
is more advantageous for the child to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to read.

On the one hand, it could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
material. As in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-technological
era, the traditional method
was followed
by all schools and universities around the world to teach students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
.
For example
, this is the reason even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
in India most of the schools in rural areas, implement this approach, where technology
still
has not introduced
yet
.
Moreover
, it could
be said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
generally
the child a sense of touching which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
encourages them to complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
by keeping targets how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
finish.
Consequently
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does the child motivate to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
targets,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
them from distracting mind in other activities.

On the other hand
, I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
is more accessible for youngsters if it
is taught
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
sources. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to access
easily
regardless of the time and place
respectively
, which means that offspring are free to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it anytime according to their convenience.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
material is always up to date, whereas, this content is missing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
and read
Consider replacing "in a fun way" with the adverb for "fun"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a fun way
by watching videos and listening to songs.
As a result
, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
more
easily
and
quickly
.
For instance
, a survey conducted by the New York Times found that 60% of offspring who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
are more active to catch anything through videos
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
books.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
motivated by accepting challenges
Did you mean "completing"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'challenge' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
targets,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
If 'learn' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to read".
reading
more
quickly
and that would be at one’s convenience.
Therefore
, on balance, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
material should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that online reading material should only be used for a child to learn to read, whereas, other believe only printed material should be used. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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