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Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.26

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. v. 26
There is no denying that education is important for the development and growth of children, therefore many people believe that home education is the best approach for teaching, while my view is that schools offer a better education experience for children. In this essay I will list the pros for each one, and justify my opinion. Turning firstly to home education, The main advantage of it is allowing teachers to focus only on one student, hence he/she would improve quickly and learn faster. For example, a friend of mine has decided to home teach his daughter, as a result of that, she scored higher grades than most of her siblings in public schools. Furthermore, she was smarter and more confident in her skills than other students. However, a study conducted at the University of London found that home education negatively affect the social skills of the students. Moving on to the more traditional approach of education, that is teaching at schools. Schools offer the children the chance to interact with each other and with their teachers, which leads to an improvement in their communication skills. For instance, a survey prepared by the Canadian authorities has concluded that school educated children are 30% better in expressing themselves and self confident when comapred to children who have been educated at home. Moreover, In the job market, school graduates are more likely to find jobs and be hired than home teached students, as a result of their better better social skills. In conclusion, since schools offer the opportunity to improve students personal skills, and the better chances in getting jobs, I believe that school education is the best approach for teaching.
There is no denying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the development and growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
therefore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the best approach for teaching, while my view is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
offer a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
experience for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In this essay I will list the pros for each one, and justify my opinion.

Turning
firstly
to home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, The main advantage of it is allowing teachers to focus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
,
hence
he/she would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
quickly
and learn faster.
For example
, a friend of mine has decided to home teach his daughter,
as a result
of that, she scored higher grades than most of her siblings in public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Furthermore
, she was smarter and more confident in her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
However
, a study conducted at the University of London found that home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
negatively
affect the social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of the students.

Moving on to the more traditional approach of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
that is
teaching at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
offer the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the chance to interact with each other and with their teachers, which leads to an improvement in their communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
For instance
, a survey prepared by the Canadian authorities has concluded that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are 30%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
in expressing themselves and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self confident
when
Possible spelling mistake found.
comapred
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who have
been educated
at home.
Moreover
, In the job market,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
graduates are more likely to find jobs and
be hired
than home
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "taught", the past tense form of the verb 'teach'?
teached
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
as a result
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In conclusion
, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
offer the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
chances in getting jobs, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the best approach for teaching.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. v. 26

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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