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Some people believe online reading material should only be used for a child to learn to read, whereas others believe only printed material should be used. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe online reading material should only be used for a child to learn to read, whereas others believe only printed material should be used. v. 1
Reading either online materials or printed materials have a split opinion. Although some people says that teenagers should utilise online resources like pdf books, other layman against this approach and say that children should refer printed books. Thus, this essay will emphasise both approaches before making a final note. To commence with, indeed, online reading way has more ascendancy. First and foremost, through online reading way, jubilant can save the environment. Logging activity is rapily growing for making a paper book. Since children utilise online reference books, logging activity will decrease and will be saved the environment. Beside this, by online materials, teenagers can save their parent's valuable money, because in this contemporary era, where books are selling in higher rates. Therefore, poverty people who always face a difficulty when they want to buy a book. For example, according to survey of Mumbai University, since 2012, Indian poverty background people have saved 2million rupees by using online books. Despite online materials, printed books have some supremacy. The most profound one is that pupil can build up their either reading and imagination ability. Pupil when read a book that time they visualises story, and dramatically improve their visualisation think. Not only visual think, but also they graps some important vocabulary by reading a paper book. Furthermore, by selling printed books, some people are acquiring employment opportunities, because being bookseller, many peoples who are fulfiling their family needs. For instance, by survey of Cambridge University, over 35% of people had been earned money in United Kingdom. Henceforth to conclude, online reading resources through which children can saves either environment or money, whilst teenagers can elevate their visual ability and creates employment opportunity by referring printed books. I strongly says that pupil must choose online reading way, because by it, they will obtain more dominance in future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Reading
either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
have a split opinion. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
says
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
resources like
Possible spelling mistake found.
pdf
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, other layman against this approach and say that children should refer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
.
Thus
, this essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'emphasise' is British English.
emphasise
both approaches
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making a final note.

To commence with,
indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
way has more ascendancy.
First
and foremost, through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
way, jubilant can save the environment. Logging activity is
Possible spelling mistake found.
rapily
growing for making a paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
. Since children
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
reference
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, logging activity will decrease and will
be saved
the environment. Beside this, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
can save their parent's valuable money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in this contemporary era, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are selling in higher rates.
Therefore
, poverty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who always face a difficulty when they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
.
For example
, according to survey of Mumbai University, since 2012, Indian poverty background
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have saved 2million rupees by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
books.

Despite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
supremacy. The most profound one is that pupil can build up their either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
and imagination ability. Pupil when read a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
that time they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "visualise"
visualises
story, and
dramatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'visualisation' is British English.
visualisation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
visual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
graps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
vocabulary by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
a paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
.
Furthermore
, by selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are acquiring employment opportunities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
being bookseller,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
who are
Possible spelling mistake found.
fulfiling
their family needs.
For instance
, by survey of Cambridge University, over 35% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had
been earned
money
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the United Kingdom".
in United Kingdom
.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Henceforth
to conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
resources through which children can saves either environment or money, whilst
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
can elevate their visual ability and creates employment opportunity by referring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. I
strongly
The pronoun 'I' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "say"
says
that pupil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
way,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
by it, they will obtain more dominance
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Some people believe online reading material should only be used for a child to learn to read, whereas others believe only printed material should be used. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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