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Some people think one should stay all their life in the same job, whereas others advocate changing jobs from time to time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people think one should stay all their life in the same job, whereas others advocate changing jobs from time to time. v. 2
An individual spends most of their lifetimes at workplaces. While some people believe that one should be in a same job throughout their life, there are others who think that it is good to switch-over to another job after a certain period. In my view, it should be an individual's choice what they want to do in their lives. Those who are in the favour of staying in a single profession might argue that it is easier to work at the same place. This is because they are familiar with the location as well as comfortable with the colleagues. For instance, my father had worked in the same bank for the whole life because it was easier for him to create a balance between work and home by working there. Moreover, some people resist variations and are not ready to adjust as they think that if they change their work, they have to start from scratch. On the other hand, changing a profession might lead to rapid career progression. In other words, when an employee switches over to another company, then it is a high chance that he/she would get a raised salary or a higher designation in the new organisation. A study conducted by Forbes revealed that employees receive an average pay boost of 10 to 20% when they change their jobs. Therefore, those who stay in a similar occupation are unlikely to get a substantial pay increase. Furthermore, it is a bit boring to spend all-time working at the same place, and this could make these people less competitive than others. In conclusion, it is trouble-free and pleasurable to do a single job whole life; however, moving ahead in career requires adjustments. I believe that individuals should take this decision by considering their preferences.
An individual spends most of their lifetimes at workplaces. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that one should be in a same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
throughout their life, there are others who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to switch-over to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after a certain period. In my view, it should be an individual's choice what they want to do in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Those who are in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of staying in a single profession might argue that it is easier to work at the same place. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are familiar with the location
as well
as comfortable with the colleagues.
For instance
, my father had worked in the same bank for the whole life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it was easier for him to create a balance between work and home by working there.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
resist variations and are not ready to adjust as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their work, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
from scratch.

On the other hand
, changing a profession might lead to rapid career progression.
In other words
, when an employee switches over to another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, then it is a high chance that he/she would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a raised salary or a higher designation in the new
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
. A study conducted by Forbes revealed that employees receive an average pay boost of 10 to 20% when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
Therefore
, those who stay in a similar occupation are unlikely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a substantial pay increase.
Furthermore
, it is a bit boring to spend all-time working at the same place, and this could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
less competitive than others.

In conclusion
, it is trouble-free and pleasurable to do a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
whole life;
however
, moving ahead in career requires adjustments. I believe that individuals should take this decision by considering their preferences.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think one should stay all their life in the same job, whereas others advocate changing jobs from time to time. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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