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Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. v.16

Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. v. 16
Few people are of opinion that it is the responsibility of the schools to hone the skills of children. I disagree with the notion that the educational institutions should be responsible for developing the children into good parents in the future. This essay will discuss the reasons for this and the requirements to be a skilled parent. It is of paramount importance that the centre of learning should give priority in teaching the academic subjects rather than the parental role. Even though the children are made aware of their future role as parents and how to play that effectively, it would in no way help in fetching a job, a successful career or attaining financial stability in life which are the most important benefits to be reaped out of education. Another reason is perhaps, it would not be an effective method since the teenagers might not have the maturity to understand the responsibilities of a parent. This is because, they have to connect the happenings in their family to the subjects taught in the school, which is again too much strain for a child. In this way, it can be argued that teaching the role of parents in schools would not be pragmatically fruitful unless it is intuitively assimilated from their parents and family members. In regard to the competence of a mother or a father, there are several things to be considered; first and foremost is the abundance of love and care, secondly strict rules to discipline their life, thirdly responsibility, fourthly doing things that the children would find inspirational and lastly to be able to educate them. What’s more is expertness in handling finance so that the children can have a better healthcare, food, education and relaxed life. To conclude, the academic subjects should be concentrated and taught in schools, as it had been until now since it is the most integral part education. This is not only because of the mindset of juveniles but also to extirpate such classes and let them learn from their own parents during the course of life.
Few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of opinion that it is the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to hone the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. I disagree with the notion that the educational institutions should be responsible for developing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in the future. This essay will discuss the reasons for this and the requirements to be a skilled parent.

It is of paramount importance that the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of learning should give priority in teaching the academic subjects
rather
than the parental role.
Even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are made
aware of their future role as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and how to play that
effectively
, it would in no way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in fetching a job, a successful career or attaining financial stability in life which are the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
benefits to
be reaped
out of education.

Another reason is perhaps, it would not be an effective method since the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
might not have the maturity to understand the responsibilities of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
connect the happenings in their family to the subjects taught in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, which is again too much strain for a child. In this way, it can
be argued
that teaching the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
would not be
pragmatically
fruitful unless it is
intuitively
assimilated from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and family members.

In regard to the competence of a mother or a father, there are several things to
be considered
;
first
and foremost is the abundance of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and care,
secondly
strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to discipline their life,
thirdly
responsibility,
fourthly
doing things that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would find inspirational and
lastly
to be able to educate them. What’s more is expertness in handling finance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can have a better healthcare, food, education and relaxed life.

To conclude
, the academic subjects should
be concentrated
and taught in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, as it had been until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
since it is the most integral part education. This is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the mindset of juveniles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to extirpate such classes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them learn from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
during the course of life.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. v. 16

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
345 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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