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Some people think it is necessary to punish children in order to teach them the differences between right and wrong. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer. If you agree, what kind of punishment do you think should be given to children by pa v.2

Some people think it is necessary to punish children in order to teach them the differences between right and wrong. If you agree, what kind of punishment do you think should be given to children by pa v. 2
It is often argued that, children should be punished or not by parents and teachers. I am completely against of punishing children. First of all, I believe children should be treated with love and concern. I think if we punish children, they get frightened of us and they will not feel comfortable in sharing any of their opinions with us. This enhances the gap between children and parents/ Teacher. Children should be taught what is good and bad in good manner, rather than punishing. Parents/Teacher should teach the what is right and wrong by conveying them what are consequences they will face if they choose to do bad, with some examples or stories from history. Punishing children may sometimes impact personally and they may show they impact once they grew up, this completely ruins their future. I would like to share one of the instance that happened in my cousin life. From childhood my uncle used to beat him for every petty mistake of my cousin, this made my cousin to get hatred feelings on his own father. Now my uncle feels very bad for treating his son bad, but damage is already done, till today my cousin never speaks to his father. That' s why it is important to teach our children about differences of good and bad, but it is more to teach with care. To conclude, Punishment is not the only way to make understand the children about good and bad.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be punished
or not by parents and teachers. I am completely against of punishing children.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be treated
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and concern. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
if we punish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
frightened of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
us and
they will not feel comfortable in sharing any of their opinions with us. This enhances the gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and parents/ Teacher.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
should
be taught
what is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
manner,
rather
than punishing. Parents/Teacher should teach the what is right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
by conveying them what are consequences they will face if they choose to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
examples or stories from history. Punishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
impact
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
personally and
they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
they impact once they grew up, this completely ruins their future. I would like to share one of the instance that happened in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cousin
life. From childhood my uncle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to beat him for every petty mistake of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cousin
, this made my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cousin
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hatred feelings on his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
father.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
my uncle feels
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
for treating his son
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
damage is already done, till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cousin
never speaks to his father.
Possible spelling mistake found.
That&
#039; s why it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to teach our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about differences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is more to teach with care.

To conclude
, Punishment is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think it is necessary to punish children in order to teach them the differences between right and wrong. If you agree, what kind of punishment do you think should be given to children by pa v. 2

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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