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Some people say that we do not need printed newspaper any more. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.4

Some people say that we do not need printed newspaper any more. with this opinion? v. 4
With the increasingly fast development of virtual network technology, on-line newspapers are enjoying a greater popularity among people than ever before. Some people think paper-based newspaper may be no longer required. From my own perspective, I firmly agree with the argument. In my opinion, the paper-based newspapers have lost their readers due to the dispersion of distorted news to the public. This can be largely attributed to the factor that the facticity and reliability of the printed news are often manipulated by news companies and the political parties, which leads to the consequence that the news received by audiences are often omitted deliberately. If the content on printed newspaper lost its functionality of informing the truth to the public, it makes no sense that paper-based newspaper should exist anymore. At the same time, compared with the electronic information carries inducting e-news and live-news, printed newspapers are more inferior in conveying urgent news in time. The report about the explosion of Fukushima Nuclear Power Plant gives a vivid example here. It was the on-line news report broadcasted the accident immediately to the world that helped to protect a considerable number of people from being infected with radiation related diseases such as blood cancer and sterility. As the traditional newspaper printers usually consume a long period on collecting information and printing newspaper, it never reacts as fast as on-line newspapers. Therefore, it is reasonable to believe the paper information carries will disappear in the future. In conclusion, from my point of view. I am in support of the idea that traditional newspapers are no longer needed in people’s life.
With the
increasingly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
development of virtual network technology, on-line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
are enjoying a greater popularity among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
paper-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
may be no longer required. From my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective, I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the argument.

In my opinion, the paper-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
have lost their readers due to the dispersion of distorted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
to the public. This can be
largely
attributed to the factor that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
facticity
and reliability of the printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
manipulated by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and the political parties, which leads to the consequence that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
received by audiences are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
omitted
deliberately
. If the content on printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
lost its functionality of informing the truth to the public, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
no sense that paper-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
should exist anymore.

At the same time, compared with the electronic information carries inducting e-news and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
-news, printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
are more inferior in conveying urgent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in time. The report about the explosion of Fukushima Nuclear Power Plant gives a vivid example here. It was the on-line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
report broadcasted the accident immediately to the world that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to protect a considerable number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
being infected
with radiation related diseases such as blood cancer and sterility. As the traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
printers
usually
consume a long period on collecting information and printing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
, it never reacts as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
as on-line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
.
Therefore
, it is reasonable to believe the paper information carries will disappear in the future.

In conclusion
, from my point of view. I am in support of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
are no longer needed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that we do not need printed newspaper any more. with this opinion? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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