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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion. What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? v.1

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion. What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? v. 1
Some people argue that it is essential for children to learn moral values from an early age and punishment is the best way to teach this. This essay totally agrees with that statement because parents’ and teachers’ roles are to guide children into the right path. However, parents should not beat their children and instead, they can use other sorts of punishment. It is essential to use punishment as one of the learning methods to show children the right path. This is because youngsters will become spoilt if they can do whatever they want and still receive no punishment when they make mistakes. Therefore, parents and teachers should use this way to teach their children valuable lessons and morality. For example, recent research by Oxford University revealed that adults who were punished during their childhood in the correct way are more reliable and ethical compared to their peers because people’s character is built mainly during childhood. Physical punishment should no longer be used in the modern world. This means that parents and teachers should always be careful about their way of punishment because certain punishment that does not involve beating the children is useful. For example, parents can take away a favorite toy from a child or prevent them from watching TV. There are also some other constructive ways of punishments. For example, nursery schools in Japan ask children to plant trees when they do something wrong. Such punishments are beneficial for the children and the society. After all, the main purpose of the punishment is to teach the child a lesson and not to hurt him physically. In conclusion, it is vital for young people to learn how to distinguish between good and bad things and avoid doing mistakes and the most effective way to achieve this is to punish them; however, this punishment should not be physical; rather it should be psychological and practical.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that it is essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn moral values from an early age and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is the best way to teach this. This essay
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with that statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
and teachers’ roles are to guide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
into the right path.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should not beat their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
instead
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
other sorts of punishment.

It is essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
as one of the learning methods to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the right path. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
youngsters will become
Possible spelling mistake. 'spoilt' is British English.
spoilt
if they can do whatever they want and
still
receive no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mistakes.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teachers should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this way to teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
valuable lessons and morality.
For example
, recent research by Oxford University revealed that adults who
were punished
during their childhood in the correct way are more reliable and ethical compared to their peers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s character
is built
mainly
during childhood.

Physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
should no longer be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the modern world. This means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teachers should always be careful about their way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
that does not involve beating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is useful.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can take away a favorite toy from a child or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from watching TV. There are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other constructive ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
.
For example
, nursery schools in Japan ask
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to plant trees when they do something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
are beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and the society.
After all
, the main purpose of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is to teach the child a lesson and not to hurt him
physically
.

In conclusion
, it is vital for young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to learn how to distinguish between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things and avoid doing mistakes and the most effective way to achieve this is to punish them;
however
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
should not be physical;
rather
it should be psychological and practical.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion. What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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