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Some people think it is necessary to punish children in order to teach them the differences between right and wrong. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer. If you agree, what kind of punishment do you think should be given to children by pa v.1

Some people think it is necessary to punish children in order to teach them the differences between right and wrong. If you agree, what kind of punishment do you think should be given to children by pa v. 1
The individuals living in today's world are considered to be inactive and unhealthy compared to the earlier counterparts. The reason for this development is because they have become slaves to the modern technology by always seeking convenience over the health. However, there numerous measures that can be taken to avoid this situation, which will be discussed in this essay. To begin with, the latest innovations in science have made the lives of 21st century rather easier. Most people today use the technology in every aspect of their lives. Negative side of this is that they prefer not to do any physical activities by always seeking the convenience of the cutting age equipments. Whereas, in the past our parents and grandparents had involved with many household and other forms of physical tasks per a day. For instance, almost every person today uses a vehicle go to the nearby grocery shop, while in the past people went shopping either by foot or by a bicycle. This unfortunate situation can be overcome by changing few unhealthy habits. Firstly, everyone should select health over convenience as much as possible. For example, most of us work or live in multi-floor buildings, hence by choosing the staircase instead of escalator would be a first step towards gaining fitness. Secondly, following a regular exercise schedule or continuously going to the gym is also viable options towards this. In a nutshell, people should not always search for ease in their lives and also should take a break form sedentary lifestyle they are having. In conclusion, most of us have become addicted to modern equipment that make our day to day life quite easier. As a result of that, most of us are now unfit and inactive. Nonetheless, in order to change this, everyone should perform more physical tasks and regular exercises.
The individuals living in
today
's world
are considered
to be inactive and unhealthy compared to the earlier counterparts. The reason for this development is
because
they have become slaves to the modern technology by always seeking convenience over the health.
However
, there numerous measures that can
be taken
to avoid this situation, which will
be discussed
in this essay.

To
begin
with, the latest innovations in science have made the
lives
of 21st century
rather
easier. Most
people
today
use
the technology in every aspect of their
lives
.
Negative
side of this is that they prefer not to do any physical activities by always seeking the convenience of the cutting age equipments. Whereas, in the past our parents and grandparents had involved with
many
household and other forms of physical tasks per a day.
For instance
, almost every person
today
uses
a vehicle go to the nearby grocery shop, while in the past
people
went shopping either by foot or by a bicycle.

This unfortunate situation can
be overcome
by changing few unhealthy habits.
Firstly
, everyone should select health over convenience as much as possible.
For example
, most of us work or
live
in multi-floor buildings,
hence
by choosing the staircase
instead
of escalator would be a
first
step towards gaining fitness.
Secondly
, following a regular exercise schedule or
continuously
going to the gym is
also
viable options towards this. In a nutshell,
people
should not always search for
ease
in their
lives
and
also
should take a break form sedentary lifestyle they are having.

In conclusion
, most of us have become addicted to modern equipment that
make
our
day to day
life quite easier.
As a result
of that, most of us are
now
unfit and inactive. Nonetheless, in order to
change
this, everyone should perform more physical tasks and regular exercises.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Some people think it is necessary to punish children in order to teach them the differences between right and wrong. If you agree, what kind of punishment do you think should be given to children by pa v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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