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Over the past century, reading, writing, and maths skills are always the most important parts of education. Some people argue that every child will benefit if a fourth skill is added: the computer skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Over the past century, reading, writing, and maths skills are always the most important parts of education. Some people argue that every child will benefit if a fourth skill is added: the computer skills. v. 2
It is true that school education always puts great value on imparting students with appropriate reading, writing and maths skills. Some people believe computer skills should be added as the fourth skill. I firmly agree with the opinion. There is no doubt that children can derive substantial benefits if they are equipped with suitable computer skills. It is well-known that computer provides students with an easy access to the Internet, which is regarded as a more convenient and vivid way to acquire knowledge compared with reading books. As the contents presented on the Internet are usually appealing and easy to follow, children who are equipped with necessary computer skills will be rendered with a comprehensive understanding of abstracted and complicated principles, thereby improving their study productivity. One piece of research conducted in the USA reveals that students who have learnt some computer skills usually have a better study performance than those who have not. At the same time, imparting youngsters with effective computer skills facilities their future development. This is because nowadays, computers have been used as an essential office equipment in majority companies. If people can handle an outstanding computer skill in their professional area, for example, a marketing specialist knows how to use publisher to design pamphlets, this person is highly likely to obtain a promotion opportunity. Likewise, as an important information carrier, computer possesses the capability of exchanging information and dispersing news. Hence, teaching children to use computer equals to providing them with the connection to the world, which also benefits their future development. In conclusion, the ability of using computer provides paramount advantages to children. Therefore, I am in support of the idea that it should be added as an additional skill in children’s skill set.
It is true that school education always puts great value on imparting students with appropriate reading, writing and
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
as the fourth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
. I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the opinion.

There is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can derive substantial benefits if they
are equipped
with suitable computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. It is well-known that computer provides students with
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "easy access".
an easy access
to the Internet, which
is regarded
as a more convenient and vivid way to acquire knowledge compared with reading books. As the contents presented on the Internet are
usually
appealing and easy to follow,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
are equipped
with necessary computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
will
be rendered
with a comprehensive understanding of abstracted and complicated principles, thereby improving their study productivity. One piece of research conducted in the USA reveals that students who have
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
usually
have a better study performance than those who have not.

At the same time, imparting youngsters with effective computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
facilities their future development. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays, computers have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as an essential office equipment in majority
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can handle an outstanding computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
in their professional area,
for example
, a marketing specialist knows how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
publisher to design pamphlets, this person is
highly
likely to obtain a promotion opportunity.
Likewise
, as an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
information carrier, computer possesses the capability of exchanging information and dispersing news.
Hence
, teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computer equals to providing them with the connection to the world, which
also
benefits their future development.

In conclusion
, the ability of using computer provides paramount advantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Therefore
, I am in support of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
as an additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
set.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Over the past century, reading, writing, and maths skills are always the most important parts of education. Some people argue that every child will benefit if a fourth skill is added: the computer skills. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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