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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree. What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children. v.2

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children. v. 2
There is a universal consensus that children ought to be taught how to differentiate good deeds from wrongdoings. It is therefore believed that serving punishments for doing wrong is necessary in learning this distinction. I completely agree with this point of view. I am also of the opinion that withdrawing certain privileges and being asked to kneel or face the wall are some that can be used to punish children for any bad behaviour. To begin, children can probably differentiate between good or bad when their behaviours are appropriately rewarded. For doing what is bad, a child ought to be told and also made to face the consequences. By so doing, it gets registered into their sub-consciousness that every behaviour will be followed by commensurate reward, and in the case of bad behaviour, it is to be punished. As regards how children should be made to realise they have offended, perhaps the most likely thing parent ought to do is to take away some fringe benefits. For instance, some of these will be to reduce leisure time used in watching TV, or browsing on the internet. Similarly, extra chores can also be given to any child that erred. In addition, tutors in schools can also possibly give extra home work to children that disobeyed in the classroom. Lastly, children following any offence can also be made to kneel down or required to face the wall for a period of time. By doing this, they are being trained to know that for every wrong action or step taken, an equal corrective measure will be faced. In conclusion, it appears logical to agree that punishing children help them to know the difference between right and wrong at their formative years. There also exist varying punishment measures that can be utilized for this purpose.
There is a universal consensus that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
ought to
be taught
how to differentiate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
deeds from wrongdoings. It is
therefore
believed that serving punishments for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
is necessary in learning this distinction. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point of view. I am
also
of the opinion that withdrawing certain privileges and
being asked
to kneel or face the wall are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to punish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
probably
differentiate between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
when their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
are
appropriately
rewarded. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
what is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
, a child ought to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
and
also
made to face the consequences. By
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
registered into their sub-consciousness that every
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
will
be followed
by commensurate reward, and in the case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, it is to
be punished
.

As regards how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be made
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
they have offended, perhaps the most likely thing parent ought to do is to take away
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fringe benefits.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of these will be to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
leisure time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in watching TV, or browsing on the internet.
Similarly
, extra chores can
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to any child that erred.
In addition
, tutors in schools can
also
possibly
give extra home work to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that disobeyed in the classroom.
Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
following any
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
can
also
be made
to kneel down or required to face the wall for a period of time. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
this, they are
being trained
to know that for every
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
action or step taken, an equal corrective measure will
be faced
.

In conclusion
, it appears logical to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that punishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to know the difference between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
at their formative years. There
also
exist varying punishment measures that can
be utilized
for this purpose.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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