Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.21

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children? v. 21
Punishing youngsters is fast becoming the order of the day. Hence, the belief by some people that, for children to be able to differentiate between good and bad, punishment is necessary. In my opinion, I completely agree with this idea. This essay will discuss the types of punishment to employ. Firstly, training a child can be a lot of work because some children can be a handful. They provoke carers to be severe while correcting them for a wrong done. However, this method does not instill discipline in a child, otherwise, it hardens the heart. Hence, parents should employ less- severe forms of correction such as, denying them of fun times, meals or even isolation in a place for a period of time. This method brings about a sober reflection in children's hearts, and are able to retrace their steps and be sorry for everything they did wrong. For instance, whenever my 6 year old daughter offends me, I ask her to face the wall for about an hour. 5 minutes into the period, she becomes bored and starts crying and apologising. Evidently, such style of discipline has proven to be very effective. Secondly, most parents who are too linient end up over pampering their wards. Therefore, guardians must learn to strike a balance - not to pamper a child too much and avoid extreme punishment. In order to achieve this, parents ought to imbibe good morals from childhood into their wards. By so doing. they are able to discern by themselves right from wrong. For example, my parents imbibed in us good attributes right from when we were about 3 years old and this helped me and my siblings to be seen as well-behaved pupils in school and even in our community. In conclusion, for children to be able to act right, teachers must teach them to do so as early as possible and avoid corporal forms of punishment.
Punishing youngsters is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
becoming the order of the day.
Hence
, the belief by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that, for children to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to differentiate between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is necessary. In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. This essay will discuss the types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
to employ.

Firstly
, training a child can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
children can be a handful. They provoke carers to be severe while correcting them for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
done.
However
, this method does not instill discipline in a child,
otherwise
, it hardens the heart.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should employ less- severe forms of correction such as, denying them of fun times, meals or even isolation in a place for a period of time. This method brings about a sober reflection in children's hearts, and are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to retrace their steps and be sorry for everything they did
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
For instance
, whenever my 6 year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
daughter offends me, I ask her to face the wall for about an hour. 5 minutes into the period, she becomes bored and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
crying and
Possible spelling mistake. 'apologising' is British English.
apologising
.
Evidently
, such style of discipline has proven to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effective.

Secondly
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who are too
Possible spelling mistake found.
linient
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up over pampering their wards.
Therefore
, guardians
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn to strike a balance
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
not to pamper a child too much and avoid extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
. In order to achieve this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
ought to imbibe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
morals from childhood into their wards. By
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
doing.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to discern by themselves right from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
For example
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
imbibed in us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
attributes right from when we were about 3 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me and my siblings to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as well
-behaved pupils in school and even in our community.

In conclusion
, for children to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to act right, teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
teach them to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as early as possible and avoid corporal forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children? v. 21

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts