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it is more important to study math and science than it is to study art or literature. agree or disadree. reasons v.1

it is more important to study math and science than it is to study art or literature. agree or disadree. reasons v. 1
Computer games are increasingly becoming intensive like never before. While some argue that video games help to activate the brain, others say that it causes adverse ramifications on youngsters. This essay supports the latter argument and provides reasons to the agreement. The foremost negative effect of gaming on young minds is digital diversion. In the developmental age, parents send their children to school to provide the best education, but since they are easily distracted to amusing gadgets, students get involved in games and lose interest in studies. Kiara, a student from City College has admitted that her grades have drastically decreased due to constant gaming. This clearly proves that the gaming gadgets deviates the student’s focus. Another adverse effect computer games can cause among growing children is lack of social skills. Previously, the young ones would pass their after-school time with peers in neighbourhood while playing games like hide and seek, ice and water to name a few. These games were proven to be effective in building social skills for being able to build qualities to express, communicate and understand and agree to other’s views in contrast to the games on the system where the child sits alone. Hence, it is obvious that the child becomes socially awkward in later stages of life. In conclusion, digital gaming in life of a child will only bring damaging situation. Parents need to be vigilant in watching children’s activities and they must encourage the best practices such as group studies or games rather than letting the child become less productive and lonely.
Computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
increasingly
becoming intensive like never
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to activate the brain, others say that it causes adverse ramifications on youngsters. This essay supports the latter argument and provides reasons to the agreement.

The foremost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gaming
on young minds is digital diversion. In the developmental age, parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their children to school to provide the best education,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
since they are
easily
distracted to amusing gadgets, students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and lose interest in studies. Kiara, a student from City College has admitted that her grades have
drastically
decreased due to constant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gaming
. This
clearly
proves that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gaming
gadgets deviates the student’s focus.

Another adverse effect computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can cause among growing children is lack of social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Previously, the young ones would pass their after-school time with peers in
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
while playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
like
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
hide and seek
, ice and water to name a few. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
were proven
to be effective in building social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for being able to build qualities to express, communicate and understand and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to other’s views
in contrast
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on the system where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
sits alone.
Hence
, it is obvious that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
becomes
socially
awkward in later stages of life.

In conclusion
, digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gaming
in life of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
bring damaging situation. Parents need to be vigilant in watching children’s
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
activities and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
encourage the best practices such as group studies or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
rather
than letting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
become less productive and lonely.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay it is more important to study math and science than it is to study art or literature. agree or disadree. reasons v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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