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Some peope think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent else whereTo what extent do you agree with this view? v.1

Some peope think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent else where v. 1
Some people believe that in order to learn a non-native language, it is required that people move to the country whose people speak that language. This essay agrees with this statement because living in a foreign country provides an option to speak their local language regularly and also improve their accent. To begin with, one reason why I believe that people learn foreign language when they move abroad is because they use that language on day-to-day basis. This is because many local people of the host country do not understand their native languages and in order to communicate they have no other option but to learn the foreign language. This provides them opportunities to practice foreign language and learn more vocabulary, and gradually they start speaking that language at an advanced level. For example, a recent study suggested that the children who moved to Canada, an English speaking country, from different part of the world at their early age speak English fluently. Another advantage is that it improves the accent. This is because although it is possible for people to learn basic foreign language in their own country, they usually mix the accent of their native language with the foreign language. For instance, according to a study, 60% of Indians can communicate in English, however, their accent is completely different from those who are native speakers. In contrast, according to a recent survey, 99% of Indian who moved to English speaking countries at their childhood were able to speak that language the way the local people of that country does, when they grew up. In conclusion, due to the practice which makes them perfect in a foreign language and improved accent, I believe that it is necessary for people to migrate to a country where that language is spoken.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a non-native
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language
, it
is required
that
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speak
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
living in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
provides an option to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speak
their local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
regularly
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their accent.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one reason why I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
abroad is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
on day-to-day basis. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
do not understand their native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
and in order to communicate they have no other option
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. This provides them opportunities to practice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
more vocabulary, and
gradually
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
speaking that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at an advanced level.
For example
, a recent study suggested that the children who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to Canada, an
Did you mean the adjective "English-speaking"?
English speaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
part of the world at their early age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speak
English
fluently
.

Another advantage is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the accent. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
although it is possible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they
usually
mix the accent of their native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
For instance
, according to a study, 60% of Indians can communicate in English,
however
, their accent is completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from those who are native speakers.
In contrast
, according to a recent survey, 99% of Indian who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to
Did you mean the adjective "English-speaking"?
English speaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
at their childhood were able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speak
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
the way the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
does, when they grew up.

In conclusion
, due to the practice which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them perfect in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
accent, I believe that it is necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to migrate to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
where that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is spoken
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Some peope think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent else where v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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