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Many feel that students today should learn practical skills at school such as car maintenance and managing a bank account. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Many feel that students today should learn practical skills at school such as car maintenance and managing a bank account. v. 1
It is commonly considered by many that the educational institutions should focus on teaching practical skills such as cooking, cleaning, dealing with bank affairs and repairing cars, whereas others tend to oppose this idea and believe that the basic education is the right of every citizen and therefore schools should concentrate on that. This essay agrees with the latter opinion, but will discuss both viewpoints in detail. On the one side, there are some people who hold a firm belief that practical skills should be taught at the school. This is because, they play a significant role in the human’s life as one has to perform all the essential household chores starting from cleaning, cooking, dishes and taking care of the business, at one point in the life, despite achieving all the success. Certainly, life would be easier if a person can learn to perform all the tasks in early age, so that he can focus on his career afterwards. Furthermore, practical skills learnt from school can be beneficial for supporting the higher studies. For instance, one of my cousins started a part time job as a cashier at the grocery store to fund his bachelor’s degree, which his father was unable to do, due to his medical illness. Thus, practical skills learned in the schools play a vital role in individual’s life. On the other hand, others opine that courses like Maths, Science, English, Computers and Sports should be an essential part of the school curriculum because once the student is trained with the basic stuff, it is easy to learn practical skills in later life. Additionally, school courses require expertise in the form of teachers and professors to gain the in-depth knowledge. However, practical skills always come with the experience and can be learned with own efforts. To exemplify, it is very easy to create an account in the bank, as everything is available online, one just has to follow the basic instructions. To conclude, although some people consider that school should teach practical skills. However, I believe teaching courses related to Science and Maths are more important to make people’s day to day life easier.
It is
commonly
considered by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that the educational institutions should focus on teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as cooking, cleaning, dealing with bank affairs and repairing cars, whereas others tend to oppose this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and believe that the basic education is the right of every citizen and
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should concentrate on that. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the latter opinion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
will discuss both viewpoints in detail.

On the one side, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who hold a firm belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
should
be taught
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, they play a significant role in the human’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
perform all the essential household chores starting from cleaning, cooking, dishes and taking care of the business, at one point in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, despite achieving all the success.
Certainly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
would be easier if a person can learn to perform all the tasks in early age,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that he can focus on his career afterwards.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can be beneficial for supporting the higher studies.
For instance
, one of my cousins
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
job as a cashier at the grocery store to fund his bachelor’s degree, which his father was unable to do, due to his medical illness.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
learned in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
play a vital role in individual’s life.

On the other hand
, others opine that courses like
Possible spelling mistake. 'Maths' is British English.
Maths
, Science, English, Computers and Sports should be an essential part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
once the student
is trained
with the basic stuff, it is easy to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
courses require expertise in the form of teachers and professors to gain the in-depth knowledge.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with the experience and can
be learned
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
efforts. To exemplify, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to create an account in the bank, as everything is available online, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
follow the basic instructions.

To conclude
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
However
, I believe teaching courses related to Science and
Possible spelling mistake. 'Maths' is British English.
Maths
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easier.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Many feel that students today should learn practical skills at school such as car maintenance and managing a bank account. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
358 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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