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Some people think it is better to travel alone and other think it is better with tour guide. Which one you prefer? Provide details and examples to support your response. v.2

Some people think it is better to travel alone and other think it is better with tour guide. Which one you prefer? Provide details and examples to support your response. v. 2
There is a point of issue, some elderly people believe that trip with tour guide is easy and safe, while broad modern youth comments that trip without guide is much cheaper with the use of electronic gadgets. Nowadays with the advancement of technology tour guide system is gradually becoming obsolete. I would disagree with this statement by giving following reasons: Unfortunately, Few greedy guides try to befool visitors by narrating hypothetical stories. For instance, when my family and me went to see famous Taj Mahal in Agra; one of the seven wonders, our tour guide added fake story about criminal act by Shahjahan which was not true, just to attract tourists and to earn extra money as a tip. This above explanation supports my opinion that one should not depend on guide for travelling to places. On other hand, fast google search engine enables group of travellers to not only explore mesmerizing places but also to book hotel and other tickets for whole trip. When we went to Smoky mountain Tennessee last week, we booked hotel and even park entry tickets. Most of tourist places have information center and notice board that provides detail about places including precautions. For instance Park staff warned tourist of uneven walking pathway, and incident of beat attack due to damping food trash on walk ways. Considering all these facilities, demand for tour guide is deteriorating. Affluent people are more likely to hire tour guides as increasing fees are eliminating option for tight budget people. When comparing prices for tour guide versus self designed tour, tour guide outweighs very high in expense. Since cost of tour guide to travel to the land of heaven Switzerland is outrageous than travelling individually. Summarizing, disadvantages outweigh the advantages to travel in a group led by a tour guide. It is logical and practical decision to plan a trip without tour guide. On the basis of above explanation, I would prefer travelling and arranging tour by myself rather than paying high sum to tour guide.
There is a point of issue,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guide
is easy and safe, while broad modern youth comments that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guide
is much cheaper with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of electronic gadgets. Nowadays with the advancement of technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guide
system is
gradually
becoming obsolete. I would disagree with this statement by giving following reasons:

Unfortunately, Few greedy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guides
try to
Possible spelling mistake found.
befool
visitors by narrating hypothetical stories.
For instance
, when my family and me went to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Taj Mahal in Agra; one of the seven wonders, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
fake story about criminal act by
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shahjahan
which was not true,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to attract tourists and to earn extra money as a tip. This above explanation supports my opinion that one should not depend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guide
for travelling to places.

On other hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
google search engine enables group of
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
explore mesmerizing places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to book hotel and other tickets for whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
. When we went to Smoky mountain Tennessee last week, we booked hotel and even park entry tickets. Most of tourist places have information center and notice board that provides detail about places including precautions.
For instance
Park staff warned tourist of uneven walking pathway, and incident of beat attack due to damping food trash on walk ways. Considering all these facilities, demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guide
is deteriorating.

Affluent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more likely to hire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guides
as increasing fees are eliminating option for tight budget
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. When comparing prices for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guide
versus self designed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guide
outweighs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high in expense.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guide
to travel to the land of heaven Switzerland is
Use "(outrageous)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
outrageous
than travelling
individually
.

Summarizing, disadvantages outweigh the advantages to travel in a group led by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guide
. It is logical and practical decision to plan a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guide
. On the basis of above explanation, I would prefer travelling and arranging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
by myself
rather
than paying high sum to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guide
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think it is better to travel alone and other think it is better with tour guide. Which one you prefer? Provide details and examples to support your response. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
336 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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