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Some people think it is better to travel alone and other think it is better with tour guide. Which one you prefer? Provide details and examples to support your response. v.1

Some people think it is better to travel alone and other think it is better with tour guide. Which one you prefer? Provide details and examples to support your response. v. 1
The free movement of products, among national boundaries has become a debatable issue for a long period of time. Some individuals ponder that it is compulsory for financial progression. Whereas, others think that it spoils local industries. Both the statements will be enumerated in the upcoming paragraphs followed by my own opinion. The paramount reason is, if nations will export the goods, then it can get profit their goods. This is because, when one country export the products then two nations could exchange the currency. The can get profit from the taxes as well as the may give job opportunities to the other countries and also they have changed the life style. For example, China has made a lot of products which it transports the things all over the world. Furthermore, most of the foreign products is quality is very high as compared to the local goods. So, people give more preference to it. As a consequence, individuals will not buy local products. That is why most of the industries are damaging. For an example, in this modern era people like electronic gadgets especially iPhones. This product is manufactured in America. This is a main reason India's local markets are spoiled. In conclusion, it is suggested that import and export both are necessary for economic growth. But developed countries should have the responsibility to help the poor nations.
The free movement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, among national boundaries has become a debatable issue for a long period of time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals ponder that it is compulsory for financial progression.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it spoils
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
industries. Both the statements will
be enumerated
in the upcoming paragraphs followed by my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

The paramount reason is, if nations will export the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, then it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
profit their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, when one country export the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
then two nations could exchange the currency. The can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
profit from the taxes
as well
as the may give job opportunities to the other countries and
also
they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the life style.
For example
, China has made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which it transports the things all over the world.

Furthermore
, most of the foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is quality is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high as compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
give more preference to it. As a consequence, individuals will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
That is
why most of the industries are damaging. For an example, in this modern era
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like electronic gadgets
especially
iPhones. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is manufactured
in America. This is a main reason India's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets
are spoiled
.

In conclusion
, it
is suggested
that import and export both are necessary for economic growth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
should have the responsibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the poor nations.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think it is better to travel alone and other think it is better with tour guide. Which one you prefer? Provide details and examples to support your response. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
228 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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