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Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cellphone, online games, and social networking web site. Use specific reasons and examples to suppor v.19

Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cellphone, online games, and social networking web site. Use specific reasons and examples to suppor v. 19
some people think that it is harder to educate kids now than past. Personally, I believe that it is not harder than before. I feel like this fore three reasons which I explore them in the following essay. First of all, they can learn much more with cell phones but we must teach them how they use cell phones. I mean, we can teach them how they can search about exciting topics with cell phones. I remember an experiment about my friend. She' ve never let her son to use the cell phone. I found out that he work with it secretly. I told my friend that let him to use it and it can make him not to work secretly and he won' t face to its consquences. Second of all, if they spend their time on games or something like that it can make their brain more active. using brain to think or decide makes its cells to work much more than before. For instance, I know someone who are master of online games. Once I asked him to fix my computer although he didn' t study lessons or learn about computer. Surprisingly, he could fix my computer and it works better than before because he changed some softwares and installed new ones. Finally, maybe some kids waste their time by playing online games or something like that but at least they don' t go for something worse that these kind of things such as drugs or something. one of my ex neighbors had a son who had been always playing in the alley. one day we realized that he' d smoked drugs with his friends. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that using technology doesn' t make education hard. this is because learning more and being more active and not doing worse deeds than them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is harder to educate kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
than past.
Personally
, I believe that it is not harder than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. I feel like this fore three reasons which I explore them in the following essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, they can learn much more with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
teach them how they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. I mean, we can teach them how they can search about exciting topics with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. I remember an experiment about my friend.
Possible spelling mistake found.
She&
#039; ve never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
her son to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
. I found out that he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with it
secretly
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
my friend that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it and it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
him not to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
secretly and
he
Possible spelling mistake found.
won&
#039; t face to its
Possible spelling mistake found.
consquences
.

Second of all, if they spend their time on games or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
like that it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their brain more active.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
using
brain to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
or decide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cells
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
much more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
For instance
, I know someone who are master of online games. Once I asked him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
my computer although he
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t study lessons or learn about computer.
Surprisingly
, he could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
my computer and it works better than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
softwares
and installed new ones.

Finally
, maybe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kids waste their time by playing online games or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
like that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at least they
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t go for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
worse that
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of things such as drugs or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
something
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
one
of my ex neighbors had a son who had been always playing in the alley.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
one
day we realized that
Possible spelling mistake found.
he&
#039; d smoked drugs with his friends.

In conclusion
, I am of the opinion that using technology
Possible spelling mistake found.
doesn&
#039; t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
learning more and being more active and not doing worse deeds than them.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Mistakes

IELTS essay Educating children is a more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cellphone, online games, and social networking web site. Use specific reasons and examples to suppor v. 19

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
309 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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