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Many people believe that companies and individuals should pay to clean up the environment in proportion to the amount of pollution they have produced. Do you agree or disagree? Give your own opinion and examples. v.4

Many people believe that companies and individuals should pay to clean up the environment in proportion to the amount of pollution they have produced. Give your own opinion and examples. v. 4
World has experienced dramatic changes over the past few years in term of technology. Undeniably it has made human life more luxurious and comfortable, but it has spelled ample harms too. Presently, it has been burning issue that industries and individual should contribute financially to keep environment clean in order to lead healthy lifestyle. Here, I would like to accord with the given statement. Numerous points are there to shore up my point of view. First and foremost, government of thriving nations usually do not have appropriate funds to make people aware about the importance of neat environment. Hence, contribution through individuals could be a lucrative idea to tackle with this problem. To be specific, additional funds arranged by the individuals and industries can allow government to make extra efforts to save our beautiful environment. Further emphasising on my point of view, extra charges on pollution producing vehicles will make people think to use private vehicles in limited way. Consequently, charging from individual can also contribute in preservation of environment. Furthermore, seminars to make illiterate people literate can be performed in order to make them aware with the importance of clean environment and they can also be taught about the ways we can keep it clean In my notion, environment is our lifeline. Without healthy environment, it is next to impossible to lead a healthy lifestyle. Money can be earned back but not the environment. Thus, if a little part of our money can save our most precious environment then we should must contribute in order to live a healthy life and to keep earth a liveable planet for years to come To recapitulate, healthy environment is a free gift to human which costs awareness. We must insist ourselves to make every little effort toward keeping it clean and healthy, whether it be money or anything else
World has experienced dramatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
over the past few years in term of technology.
Undeniably
it has made human life more luxurious and comfortable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has spelled ample harms too.
Presently
, it has been burning issue that industries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
should contribute
financially
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
clean in order to lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle. Here, I would like to accord with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement.

Numerous points are there to shore up my point of view.
First
and foremost,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of thriving nations
usually
do not have appropriate funds to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aware about the importance of neat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
Hence
, contribution through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
could be a lucrative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to tackle with this problem. To be specific, additional funds arranged by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and industries can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
extra efforts to save our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
environment.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
Possible spelling mistake. 'emphasising' is British English.
emphasising
on my point of view, extra charges on pollution producing vehicles will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
private vehicles in limited way.
Consequently
, charging from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
can
also
contribute in preservation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
Furthermore
, seminars to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
illiterate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
literate can
be performed
in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them aware with the importance of clean
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
environment and
they can
also
be taught
about the ways we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it clean

In my notion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is our lifeline. Without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, it is
next
to impossible to lead a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle. Money can
be earned
back
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
Thus
, if a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
part of our money can save our most precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
then we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
contribute in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
life and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
earth a liveable planet for years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come


To recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is a
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "gift".
free gift
to human which costs awareness. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
insist ourselves to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
every
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
effort toward keeping it clean and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
, whether it be money or anything
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
else
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that companies and individuals should pay to clean up the environment in proportion to the amount of pollution they have produced. Give your own opinion and examples. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
306 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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