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Some people think it is better for people to change their career at least once in their life and do different kinds of jobs. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.1

Some people think it is better for people to change their career at least once in their life and do different kinds of jobs. with this opinion? v. 1
I definitely agree with the notion that individuals should change their career at least once in life. A number of arguments surround my opinion. To begin with there are some strong benefits that can come from a career change. One of the major benefits of changing careers is money. People may make more per year than they did with their previous job. This can help to lessen the financial burden of an individual or family. Secondly, a career change brings opportunity to learn new skills. They will have to learn new actions and meet new expectations. This general education that is formed through a career change will be beneficial in the future. What is more, those who have a wide range of careers under their belt will have more job security in the long run. Instead of being proficient at one career path, a person can be proficient with two or even more. If he loses his job, he can seek out jobs in different career fields, as opposed to one career field. Therefore, his chances of landing a new job are greater than those who have simply held one career. Finally, a career change is good for breaking the monotony. It is psychologically true that whenever a person takes his first job, he is usually excited about it; but in the course of time, his interest wanes and soon he begins to suffer from an excruciating boredom. A career change fills him with new excitement that propels him into working with renewed interest and enthusiasm. To conclude, I would like to reiterate my opinion that a career change has many benefits and instead of sticking to one job one should change career at least once in life if not more times.
I definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion that individuals should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
at least once in life. A number of arguments surround my opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strong benefits that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
. One of the major benefits of changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
is money.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more per year than they did with their previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to lessen the financial burden of an individual or family.
Secondly
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
brings opportunity to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. They will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
actions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
expectations. This general education that
is formed
through a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
will be beneficial in the future.

What is more
, those who have a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
under their belt will have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
security in the long run.
Instead
of being proficient at one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
path, a person can be proficient with two or even more. If he loses his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, he can seek out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
fields, as opposed to one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
field.
Therefore
, his chances of landing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
are greater than those who have
simply
held one career.

Finally
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for breaking the monotony. It is
psychologically
true that whenever a person takes his
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, he is
usually
excited about it;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the course of time, his interest wanes and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
to suffer from an excruciating boredom. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
fills him with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
excitement that propels him into working with renewed interest and enthusiasm.

To conclude
, I would like to reiterate my opinion that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits and
instead
of sticking to one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
one should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
at least once in life if not more times.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay Some people think it is better for people to change their career at least once in their life and do different kinds of jobs. with this opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
292 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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