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Some people think it is better for children to begin to learn a foreign language at primary school than at secondary school. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

Some people think it is better for children to begin to learn a foreign language at primary school than at secondary school. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
It is sometimes argued that teaching a second language to children at primary school has benefits for kids compared to start learning at secondary school. While learning a foreign language at an earlier stage of school has a number of potential demerits for children, personally I believe they are both outweighed and outnumbered by the advantages. This essay will examine the merits and drawbacks of this phenomenon followed by my point of view. On the one hand, starting learning a different language at primary school has several disadvantages for pupils, the most detrimental of which is mixing two languages while they are talking due to the fact that the are also in progress to learn their mother tongue. This leads to being unable to master any of languages, resulting in meaningless sentences which are a combination of two languages. As a consequence, children might lose their linguistic culture. This has been evidenced by numerous academic studies the latest of which is one published by the University of Russia in 2018, concluding that children who begin to learn English at primary school use Russian and English vocabulary in the same sentence which leads losing the meaning of what they try to say. The study further shows that 75% of multi-languages learner children in early age could not learn cultural idioms in their mother tongue which causes miscommunication between them and their parents. On the other hand, teaching the second langıages before secondary school has countless undeniable advantages; chief among them, the fact that they become more efficient in the school owing to the fact that they can learn many things at the same time as the younger brain can absorb everything in a second. This results in gaining effortless knowledge as well as having a less chance to forget the future. According to the latest statistics released by the Young Brains Committee in Sydney in 2019 indicates that 85% of primary school students can learn different languages quicker than secondary school students as their brains are ready to learn new knowledge. Moreover, they tend to forget less vocabulary when they grow up as they have a sound basis. In conclusion, whereas starting learning a foreign language at primary school has potential demerits such as losing the control of languages and linguistic culture, they are undoubtedly eclipsed by benefits which are learned easily and carrying the knowledge of the future.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
argued that teaching a second
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language
to
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children
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
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school
has benefits for kids compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
at secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at an earlier stage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has a number of potential demerits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
personally
I believe they are both outweighed and outnumbered by the advantages. This essay will examine the merits and drawbacks of this phenomenon followed by my point of view.

On the one hand, starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has several disadvantages for pupils, the most detrimental of which is mixing two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
while they are talking due to the fact that
Did you mean "they are" or "there are"?
the are
also
in progress to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
their mother tongue. This leads to being unable to master any of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, resulting in meaningless sentences which are a combination of two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
. As a consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might lose their linguistic culture. This has
been evidenced
by numerous academic studies the latest of which is one published by the University of Russia in 2018, concluding that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to
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learn
English at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Russian and English vocabulary in the same sentence which leads losing the meaning of what they try to say. The study
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 75% of multi-languages learner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in early age could not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
cultural idioms in their mother tongue which causes miscommunication between them and their parents.

On the other hand
, teaching the second
Possible spelling mistake found.
langıages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has countless undeniable advantages; chief among them, the fact that they become more efficient in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
owing to the fact that they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things at the same time as the younger brain can absorb everything in a second. This results in gaining effortless knowledge
as well
as having a less chance to forget the future. According to the latest statistics released by the Young Brains Committee in Sydney in 2019 indicates that 85% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
students can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
quicker than secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
students as their brains are ready to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
new knowledge.
Moreover
, they tend to forget less vocabulary when they grow up as they have a sound basis.

In conclusion
, whereas starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has potential demerits such as losing the control of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
and linguistic culture, they are
undoubtedly
eclipsed by benefits which
are learned
easily
and carrying the knowledge of the future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think it is better for children to begin to learn a foreign language at primary school than at secondary school. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
398 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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