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Some people think it is alright to spend money for their wants, such as a new car or the latest gadget. Others think it is better to save their money and only buy what they really need. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Give specific details and examples in your answer v.1

Some people think it is alright to spend money for their wants, such as a new car or the latest gadget. Others think it is better to save their money and only buy what they really need. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Give specific details and examples in your answer v. 1
When shopping, one of the biggest problems consumers have is whether they should save money for a better product, or purchase on their impulse. As we all being a normal human, we cannot have everything and sometimes, we should choose to save, or to use. From the two choices given, I personally agree to the opinion stating about saving money. Firstly, when buying what you really want, you can decide better, wiser choice. Just following the trend and buying products according to every year, month, new collection, there would be less time to think rationally, resulting regrets. Additionally, these latest products only are popular because they are new. When time passes and new products come out, the item you bought will soon look old-fashioned, making you open your wallet to buy another latest object. On the other hand, while saving your budget for your wishlist, you might think if the object your trying to purchase is “essential” in your life. During long time saving money, you would realize what products are worth to buy and what are not, leading to better choice of product. Thus, because you saved your money so hard, you obviously wouldn’t want your money to be used unwisely, leading you to do more research on items that are “essential” with low cost. Furthermore, buying what one longed for brings great pleasure and delight. Rather than just buying the latest product with little effort and less thinking, there are a higher percentage of the buyer regretting their choice. However, when lots of effort and thinking combines with lots of money, a person will really feel like they’ve been awarded for their long time and that imagination of finally achieving something they’ve wanted will enable them to work and save even harder. Also, because they’ve received a prize, they would be motivated and push themselves harder in their daily lives. My own experience is a very good example of this opinion. I got all As in all subjects, and I gifted myself an expensive wallet which I always dreamt and saved my budget for. This feeling of receiving was so good that it encouraged me to work even harder and try to get all A*s! ! To conclude, due to these two reasons of overflowing joy and sagacious outcomeI believe that only buying what one really wants is a better opinion.
When shopping, one of the biggest problems consumers have is whether they should save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
on their impulse. As we all being a normal human, we cannot have everything and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, we should choose to save, or to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. From the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the opinion stating about saving money.

Firstly
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
what you
really
want, you can decide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
, wiser
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
following the trend and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
according to every year, month, new collection, there would be less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
rationally
, resulting regrets.
Additionally
, these latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are popular
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are new. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
passes and new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out, the item you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
look
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned, making you open your wallet to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
another latest object.
On the other hand
, while saving your budget for your wishlist, you might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
if the object your trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
is “essential” in your life. During long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, you would realize what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are worth to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and what are not, leading to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you saved your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, you
obviously
wouldn’t want your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
unwisely
, leading you to do more research on items that are “essential” with low cost.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
what one longed for brings great pleasure and delight.
Rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
effort and less thinking, there are a higher percentage of the buyer regretting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
.
However
, when lots of effort and thinking combines with lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, a person will
really
feel like they’ve
been awarded
for their long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and that imagination of
finally
achieving something they’ve wanted will enable them to work and save even harder.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they’ve received a prize, they would
be motivated
and push themselves harder in their daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of this opinion. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
all As in all subjects, and I gifted myself an expensive wallet which I always dreamt and saved my budget for. This feeling of receiving was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
that it encouraged me to work even harder and try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
all
Replace by the typographical symbol.
A*s
! !

To conclude
, due to these two reasons of overflowing joy and sagacious
Possible spelling mistake found.
outcomeI
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buying
what one
really
wants is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
opinion.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Some people think it is alright to spend money for their wants, such as a new car or the latest gadget. Others think it is better to save their money and only buy what they really need. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Give specific details and examples in your answer v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
393 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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