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Some people think government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help people prevent illness and disease To what extent do you agree or disagree v.3

Some people think government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help people prevent illness and disease v. 3
Illness and disease are always the problems which any governments need to concerne because these problems impact on citizens’ health. Some people argue that if government focus on reducing environmental pollution as well as housing issues, disease and illness can be prevented. Personally, I partly agree with the opinion. With regard to the positiveness of the matter, there are some benefits of reducing environmental pollution and housing issues. As for the former, if governments carry out many practical solutions to protect environment such as constructing more green fields in cities and decreasing the number of vehicles traveling on streets, these ways will make the air be cleaner and fresher. Therefore, people can prevent illness caused by polluted air. For example, those who live in a clean country such as Singapore tend to less get sick caused by dirty air, compared to other countries which are less clean than it. The other point needs to be considered is that if housing issues are solved, this will help to prevent illness and disease. Indeed, if there are more houses in countries, residents will have more spaces to live. Therefore, people will not concentrate at some points that can cause infection if some people get infectious disease. Besides protecting residents’ health by dealing with pollution and housing trouble, governments can do more difference ways to improve the health of their citizens. The first one is that governments can do useful propagandas about doing exercise which brings a lot of merits for people’s health. What is more, residents need to be aware of keeping their health by themselves before governments can do anything to help them. For instance, those who often go to gym have good health and they are not easy to get common sick such as fever or snivel. In conclusion, I tend to partly agree with the opinion that people can prevent illness and disease if governments focus on resolving environmental pollution and housing issues.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Illness
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
are always the problems which any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
need to
Possible spelling mistake found.
concerne
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these problems impact on citizens’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
focus on reducing environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
as well
as housing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illness
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
.
Personally
, I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the opinion.

With regard to the positiveness of the matter, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits of reducing environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and housing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. As for the former, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
carry out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
practical solutions to protect environment such as constructing more green fields in cities and decreasing the number of vehicles traveling on streets, these ways will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the air be cleaner and fresher.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illness
caused by polluted air.
For example
, those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a clean country such as Singapore tend to less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sick caused by dirty air, compared to other countries which are less clean than it. The other point needs to
be considered
is that if housing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
are solved
, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illness
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
.
Indeed
, if there are more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
in countries, residents will have more spaces to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not concentrate at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
points that can cause infection if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
infectious disease.

Besides
protecting residents’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
by dealing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and housing trouble,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can do more difference ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of their citizens. The
first
one is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can do useful
Possible spelling mistake found.
propagandas
about doing exercise which brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
merits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
What is more
, residents need to be aware of keeping their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
by themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can do anything to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them.
For instance
, those who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
go to gym have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
health and
they are not easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
common sick such as fever or snivel.

In conclusion
, I tend to partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illness
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
focus on resolving environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and housing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help people prevent illness and disease v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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