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Some people say that governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help people prevent illness and disease. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people say that governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help people prevent illness and disease. v. 1
It is said that governments are to take more account of helping people tackle the illness and disease problem, compared to environmental pollution and house pricing. I strongly believe that these problems all should be solved appropriately. The reasons for this trend may involve the recognition that most of the citizens who hope the government pay more attention to heath problem are relatively underprivileged in terms of economic and medical conditions. By contrast, those who view the environment and living condition as important as basic health put more emphasis on long-term and sustainable development. Since they believe that a healthy and flourishing natural environment is essential for healthy human societies. Without that, the people of that nation must breathe that contaminated air and utilise that polluted water, and this can have detrimental effects on people’s physical health and well-being. However, there are some disadvantages. If governments put in all investment in these areas, they could be faced with a heavy financial strain, which could inhibit the development of the country. But overall, I think this is unlikely today, authorities would be well-advised to formulate a suitable financial strategy depending on the specific situation. In conclusion, I firmly convinced that the situation government faced is more complex. If the authorities could make overall plans and take all factors into consideration, they would be more likely to get rid of standstill and poverty, meanwhile our country will improve beyond all recognition.
It
is said
that
governments
are to take more account of helping
people
tackle the illness and disease problem, compared to environmental pollution and
house
pricing. I
strongly
believe that these problems all should
be solved
appropriately
.

The reasons for this trend may involve the recognition that most of the citizens who hope the
government
pay more attention to heath problem are
relatively
underprivileged in terms of economic and medical conditions. By contrast, those who view the environment and living condition as
important
as basic health put more emphasis on long-term and sustainable development. Since they believe that a healthy and flourishing natural environment is essential for healthy human societies. Without that, the
people
of that nation
must
breathe that contaminated air and
utilise
that polluted water, and this can have detrimental effects on
people
’s physical health and well-being.

However
, there are
some
disadvantages. If
governments
put in all investment in these areas, they could
be faced
with a heavy financial strain, which could inhibit the development of the country.
But
overall
, I
think
this is unlikely
today
, authorities would be well-advised to formulate a suitable financial strategy depending on the specific situation.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
convinced that the situation
government
faced is more complex. If the authorities could
make
overall
plans and take all factors into consideration, they would be more likely to
get
rid of standstill and poverty, meanwhile our country will
improve
beyond all recognition.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help people prevent illness and disease. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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