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Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind the bars. To what extent do you agree? v.2

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind the bars. v. 2
Everywhere in the world, nations are faced by some people who commit crimes. Somebody believes that putting some people in jails is not a good idea and instead, the government should enforce prisoners to participate in social activities for free. I agree with this idea and I reckon, working unpaid is better than sending persons to jail. In this essay, we are going to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of free work by certain guilty persons instead of being these persons in jails. Since keeping persons as a prisoner requires a huge budget to expend for food, cloth, health and so on, so it is not easy for states to afford the costs, the monies can spend in other fields like education. Furthermore, there are many people in prisons who are delinquent or just arrested because of financial reasons like bankruptcy or even small crimes such as hitting someone by accident. Keeping this people has negative influence on them. On the top of that, such prisoner has families who need them, undoubtedly. Thus, it is not a good idea to put such people behind the bars. They can work for governments for free such as, training their skills to others or making food for poor people. Applicant works are not advised for all offenders, of course. Most of the people who commit crimes are dangerous for society and have potential to break the law again. Because of that, getting this people out of the jail leads to anarchy, raising the illegal works and diminution of security in the community. To conclude, in my opinion, the government can reduce the number of prisoners by replacing their punishments and force some of them to do volunteer activities and expend the extra jail's budget in education and teaching the right way to live.
Everywhere in the world, nations
are faced
by
some
people
who
commit crimes. Somebody believes that putting
some
people
in jails is not a
good
idea
and
instead
, the
government
should enforce
prisoners
to participate in social activities for free. I
agree
with this
idea
and I reckon, working unpaid is better than sending
persons
to jail. In this essay, we are going to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of free
work
by certain guilty
persons
instead
of being these
persons
in jails.

Since keeping
persons
as a
prisoner
requires a huge budget to expend for food, cloth, health and
so
on,
so
it is not easy for states to afford the costs, the monies can spend in other fields like education.
Furthermore
, there are
many
people
in prisons
who
are delinquent or
just
arrested
because
of financial reasons like bankruptcy or even
small
crimes such as hitting someone by accident. Keeping this
people
has
negative
influence on them. On the top of that, such
prisoner
has families
who
need them,
undoubtedly
.
Thus
, it is not a
good
idea
to put such
people
behind the bars. They can
work
for
governments
for free such as, training their
skills
to others or making food for poor
people
.

Applicant works are not advised for all offenders,
of course
. Most of the
people
who
commit crimes are
dangerous
for society and have potential to break the law again.
Because
of that, getting this
people
out of the jail leads to anarchy, raising the illegal works and diminution of security in the community.

To conclude
, in my opinion, the
government
can
reduce
the number of
prisoners
by replacing their punishments and force
some
of them to do volunteer activities and expend the extra jail's budget in education and teaching the right way to
live
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind the bars. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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