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Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind the bar. To what extent do you agree? v.1

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind the bar. v. 1
The prisons were created way back in the ancient time in order to punish people who committed crime. The majority of the people believe that, individuals who are committed minor crimes such as thieves and blackmailing etc. should be punished in term of community work on unpaid basis. I am partly agree on the condition unpaid work because, even though criminals have families and they need sort of some money to survive. Most of the people are confident that it is a better punishment idea for criminals by doing community unpaid work. This will definitely make them aware about an importance of the legal constitutions as well as social values. They will feel respected because, it’s a better way of punishment as compare to prison sentence for the particular period of time. For instance, in most of the criminal cases criminal commit crime again because, they will not get proper an employment, general public will not treat them respectfully and many more. But, with this different approach definitely they will think before committing crime again. On the other hand, the prisoner’s community work should be paid or partially paid because criminals also have families. Their full or partially paid work will help them to support their family finances to survive in real scenarios. For example, if criminal are getting paid for their work during that punishment period, they will definitely start working instead of thinking about wrongs ways of earning money. In conclusion, it will be a great idea to punish criminals by doing community work rather than prisoning. Nevertheless, it should be partially or fully paid in order to support their family.
The prisons
were created
way back in the ancient time in order to punish
people
who committed
crime
. The majority of the
people
believe that, individuals who
are committed
minor
crimes
such as thieves and blackmailing etc. should
be punished
in term of
community
work
on unpaid basis. I am partly
agree
on the condition unpaid
work
because
,
even though
criminals
have
families and
they need sort of
some
money to survive.

Most of the
people
are confident that it is a better punishment
idea
for
criminals
by doing
community
unpaid
work
. This will definitely
make
them aware about an importance of the legal constitutions
as well
as social values. They will feel respected
because
, it’s a better way of punishment as compare to prison sentence for the particular period of time.
For instance
, in most of the
criminal
cases
criminal
commit
crime
again
because
, they will not
get
proper an employment,
general public
will not treat them
respectfully
and
many
more.
But
, with this
different
approach definitely they will
think
before
committing
crime
again.

On the other hand
, the prisoner’s
community
work
should be
paid
or
partially
paid
because
criminals
also
have
families
. Their full or
partially
paid
work
will
help
them to support their
family
finances to survive in real scenarios.
For example
, if
criminal
are getting
paid
for their
work
during that punishment period, they will definitely
start
working
instead
of thinking about wrongs ways of earning money.

In conclusion
, it will be a great
idea
to punish
criminals
by doing
community
work
rather
than
prisoning
.
Nevertheless
, it should be
partially
or
fully
paid
in order to support their
family
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind the bar. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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