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Many people say that cooking and eating at home is better for individuals and the family than eating out in restaurants or canteens. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Many people say that cooking and eating at home is better for individuals and the family than eating out in restaurants or canteens. v. 1
Throughout the last fifty years, the number and the variety of places serving meals has been dramatically increasing in most cities of the world. Therefore, it is debated whether domestic or restaurant food should be preferred. Whilst I broadly agree that home cooking is better than dining out, I have a number of reservations about this. Without doubt, eateries need to make their menu appealing in order to attract customers. It goes without saying that marketing strategies not always lead to healthy choices. First and foremost, a recent chemical analysis of several aliments reveals that addictive stimulants are routinely added to restaurant food and drinks. Secondly, the amount of salt and fats used by some dining facilities not only enriches the flavour of their dishes, but also raise concerns to the public. For instance, it has been demonstrated that an excessively salty and fatty diet is detrimental to blood pressure and cholesterol levels. Moreover, dining out might encourage people to eat more than their needs as seen in sushi train and all-you-can-eat restaurants. Admittedly, it is quite reasonable to argue that restaurants create employment. In addition, eating out is more convinient than preparing food at home. However, the time spent for grocerie shopping, cooking and cleaning can be an occasion for families to share responsabilities and time toghether. For example, cooking with my wife is for me one of the sweatest part of the day. In summary, both home cooking and food facilities carry some advantages for individuals and community. However, I am of the opinion that the drawbacks of preparing meal at home should never be allowed to overshadow with its merits.
Throughout the last fifty years, the number and the variety of places serving meals has been
dramatically
increasing in most cities of the world.
Therefore
, it
is debated
whether domestic or restaurant
food
should
be preferred
. Whilst I
broadly
agree
that home cooking is better than dining out, I have a number of reservations about this.

Without doubt, eateries need to
make
their menu appealing in order to attract customers. It goes without saying that marketing strategies not always lead to healthy choices.
First
and foremost, a recent chemical analysis of several aliments reveals that addictive stimulants are
routinely
added
to restaurant
food
and drinks.
Secondly
, the amount of salt and fats
used
by
some
dining facilities not
only
enriches the
flavour
of their dishes,
but
also
raise concerns to the public.
For instance
, it has
been demonstrated
that an
excessively
salty and fatty diet is detrimental to blood pressure and cholesterol levels.
Moreover
, dining out might encourage
people
to eat more than their needs as
seen
in sushi train and all-you-can-eat restaurants.

Admittedly
, it is quite reasonable to argue that restaurants create employment.
In addition
, eating out is more
convinient
than preparing
food
at home.
However
, the time spent for
grocerie shopping
, cooking and cleaning can be an occasion for families to share
responsabilities
and time
toghether
.
For example
, cooking with my wife is for me one of the
sweatest
part of the day.

In summary, both home cooking and
food
facilities carry
some
advantages for individuals and community.
However
, I am of the opinion that the drawbacks of preparing meal at home should never be
allowed
to overshadow with its merits.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Many people say that cooking and eating at home is better for individuals and the family than eating out in restaurants or canteens. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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