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Some people believe that boys and girls behave differently only because society teaches them that they are different. What is your view? v.1

Some people believe that boys and girls behave differently only because society teaches them that they are different. What is your view? v. 1
Many corporate businesses now give more importance to various social skills, while hiring an employee. This essay believes that employees with good communication and interaction skills can contribute the development of a company, and it possibly avoids almost all work places disputes between people. One justification for emphasizing social skills for recruiting a candidate is that they can boost the growth of that business among the world. This is because many business enterprises, often focus to establish their contacts internationally in order to gain more profit from it, and this requires their workers to initiate and maintain good relationships with international organizations. If the workers have these necessary skills, they can augment the growth of the company worldwide, and could make it more lucrative than earlier. For example, the CEO of the Infosys in Bangalore branch has recently reported that the recent flourish that achieved by his company is because of their 70% of employees with good communication and interaction skills. Another reason for focusing on excellent social skills on their applicant is that this could eliminate the majority of workplace quarrels between each other. That is to say that the employees in an organisation come from various cultural and religious backgrounds, and this often ignites various misunderstandings between people further it turn into sophisticated issues. When this dispute crosses the limits, it would directly affect companies development, and choosing job seekers with good social skills would avoid these problems to a greater extent. For instance, a recent report in the BBC showed that the main reason for 32% workplace issues is that their employees with less interaction and communication skills. In conclusion, it is true that now all companies give extreme importance to their candidate's ability to communicate and interact with others because these skills are eminent to enhance the development of a business entities, and it decreases the incidence of job place quarrels.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
corporate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
give more importance to various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, while hiring an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
. This essay believes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
communication and interaction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
can contribute the development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, and it
possibly
avoids almost all work places disputes between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

One justification for emphasizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
for recruiting a candidate is that they can boost the growth of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
among the world. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
enterprises,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
focus to establish their contacts
internationally
in order to gain more profit from it, and this requires their workers to initiate and maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
relationships with international organizations. If the workers have these necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, they can augment the growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
worldwide, and could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it more lucrative than earlier.
For example
, the CEO of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Infosys
in Bangalore branch has recently reported that the recent flourish that achieved by his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their 70% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
communication and interaction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Another reason for focusing on excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
on their applicant is that this could eliminate the majority of workplace quarrels between each other.
That is
to say that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
in an
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organisation' and 'organization') within a single text.
organisation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from various cultural and religious backgrounds, and this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
ignites various misunderstandings between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
further
it turn into sophisticated issues. When this dispute crosses the limits, it would
directly
affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
development, and choosing job seekers with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
would avoid these problems to a greater extent.
For instance
, a recent report in the BBC
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the main reason for 32% workplace issues is that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
with less interaction and communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In conclusion
, it is true that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
give extreme importance to their candidate's ability to communicate and interact with others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are eminent to enhance the development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "entity"?
entities
, and it decreases the incidence of job place quarrels.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that boys and girls behave differently only because society teaches them that they are different. What is your view? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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