Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think certain prisoner should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind the bars. To what extent do you agree or disagree. v.1

Some people think certain prisoner should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind the bars. v. 1
It is globally acclaimed that circumstances make one lawbreaker not the person himself. It is opined by many that rather imposing imprisonment to gentle convicts it is better that they should be deputed for some social work without wages. This essay completely concurs with the above notion and addresses the importance of pursuing such ideology and then the possible positive effects of such steps on such persons. First of all, there are a myriad of arguments in favour of the stance that convinced prisoners should be given a chance to be the part of society to sustain his self-respect and should not be sent to the jail. Placing such kind of persons into the society certainly help them in gaining respect and makes them motivated toward the good works. For example, in 2002 a report on Human Rights of Brazil stated that a large proportion of prisoners who were the victim of circumstances were set free for road constructions in villages were admired by the society. On the other hand, as a matter of fact, this approach will help them overcome recidivism therefor scaling down the crime rate in the society. Apparently, a person accepted amiably by society would never mould towards crime and therefore will live a peaceful life. This would also be a message for other hoodlums and would encourage them to choose a path of humanity and prosperity. For instance, the employability scheme of the largest jail of India Tihar, where administration is helping them in becoming employable to get jobs after they released from jail. To recapitulate, bars are the only solution of offenders is a complete paradox. Affection by the alliance and moral support saves them from being feeble. Such polite approaches would advent crime-free society.
It is globally acclaimed that circumstances
make
one lawbreaker not the person himself. It
is opined
by
many
that
rather
imposing imprisonment to gentle convicts it is better that they should
be deputed
for
some
social work without wages. This essay completely concurs with the above notion and addresses the importance of pursuing such ideology and then the possible
positive
effects of such steps on such persons.

First of all
, there are a
myriad
of arguments in
favour
of the stance that convinced prisoners should be
given
a chance to be the part of
society
to sustain his self-respect and should not be
sent
to the jail. Placing such kind of persons into the
society
certainly
help
them in gaining respect and
makes
them motivated toward the
good
works.
For example
, in 2002 a report on Human Rights of Brazil stated that a large proportion of prisoners who were the victim of circumstances
were
set free for road constructions in villages
were admired
by the society.

On the other hand
, as a matter of fact, this approach will
help
them overcome recidivism therefor scaling down the crime rate in the
society
.
Apparently
, a person
accepted
amiably
by
society
would never
mould
towards crime and
therefore
will
live
a peaceful life. This would
also
be a message for other hoodlums and would encourage them to choose a path of humanity and prosperity.
For instance
, the employability scheme of the largest jail of India
Tihar
, where administration is helping them in becoming employable to
get
jobs after they released from jail.

To recapitulate, bars are the
only
solution of offenders is a complete paradox. Affection by the alliance and moral support saves them from being feeble. Such polite approaches would advent crime-free
society
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Some people think certain prisoner should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind the bars. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts