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Some people believe that entertainers are paid too much and their impact on the society is negative, while others disagree and believe that they deserve the money they make because of their positive effect on others. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe that entertainers are paid too much and their impact on the society is negative, while others disagree and believe that they deserve the money they make because of their positive effect on others. v. 1
A myriad of individuals deem that celebrities are worthy to be paid a huge amount of money, while other think that they are not well deserve all this money. I am convinced that there are priorities to be done, thus authorities should shift their priority to essential tasks rather than complimentary tasks such as entertainment jobs. This essay will investigate the both view and their causes. For one view, there is a negative impact of entertainment on the country, which includes financial burden and superficial minds. Entertainment professions tend to be fund draining professions, although we really need for financial support to improve many primary sectors, the authorized persons squander the national's budget for unnecessary issues. Moreover, level of publics ' awareness is declining, because of imitation of negative sides of artists. Egypt has become top leading country, which has the largest rate of hepatitis C virus and cancer. This is explained that entertaining fields should be no longer existed with nearly evanescence of backbone services, that are absolutely vital for any human being such as health and education. Another view, a lot of public figures merit large quantities of money, due to the influential role that they are doing in positive representing our historical greatness, culture identity and supporting poor and needy people. As far as I recall there are many of actors immortalize the historical memories through movies, documentaries and series, therefore these works are a symbol of Eastern civilization. In addition, there are some celebrities who participate in several charitable affairs and took part in caring for marginalized classes. For example, Angelina Jolie has taken part in rescuing enormous number of refugees in several areas around the world. In light of this, it will be excluded that public figures have a massive role in improvement and sacrificing more than they earned. To recapitulate, there are negatives and positives of providing a lot of wages for artists, however nation may in need for the majority of budget in reforms. As far as I know there is no nation make the first priority such as complimentary works and it can have its own renaissance. Finally, I may recommend that high priority issues should acquire the entire concern until the desired stability achieved. .
A myriad of individuals
deem
that celebrities are worthy to
be paid
a huge amount of money, while other
think
that they are not well deserve all this money. I
am convinced
that there are
priorities
to
be done
,
thus
authorities should shift their
priority
to essential tasks
rather
than complimentary tasks such as entertainment jobs. This essay will investigate the both view and their causes.

For one view, there is a
negative
impact of entertainment on the country, which includes financial burden and superficial minds. Entertainment professions tend to be fund draining professions, although we
really
need for financial support to
improve
many
primary sectors, the authorized persons squander the national's budget for unnecessary issues.
Moreover
, level of
publics
'
awareness is declining,
because
of imitation of
negative
sides of artists. Egypt has become top leading country, which has the largest rate of hepatitis C virus and cancer. This is
explained
that entertaining fields should be no longer existed with
nearly
evanescence of backbone services, that are
absolutely
vital for any human being such as health and education.

Another view,
a lot of
public figures merit large quantities of money, due to the influential role that they are doing in
positive
representing our historical greatness, culture identity and supporting poor and needy
people
. As far as I recall there are
many
of actors immortalize the historical memories through movies, documentaries and series,
therefore
these works are a symbol of Eastern civilization.
In addition
, there are
some
celebrities who participate in several charitable affairs and
took part
in caring for marginalized classes.
For example
, Angelina Jolie has taken part in rescuing enormous number of refugees in several areas around the world. In light of this, it will
be excluded
that public figures have a massive role in improvement and sacrificing more than they earned.

To recapitulate, there are negatives and positives of providing
a lot of
wages for artists,
however
nation may in need for the majority of budget in reforms. As far as I know there is no nation
make
the
first
priority
such as complimentary works and it can have its
own
renaissance.
Finally
, I may recommend that high
priority
issues should acquire the entire concern until the desired stability achieved.
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that entertainers are paid too much and their impact on the society is negative, while others disagree and believe that they deserve the money they make because of their positive effect on others. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
374 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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