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Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child’s education. Others believe that it is more important to focus on academics during school time. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child’s education. Others believe that it is more important to focus on academics during school time. v. 1
The majority of schools devote most of the school day to academic classes, but also set aside time for physical education and other no academic classes. However, not everyone agrees with this way of dividing up the school day. While there are people who think that schools should only be about academics, others believe that physical education is also important, and I agree with this point of view. Some people feel that school should be all about academics. According to this point of view, children need to spend their entire school day learning math, science, literature, and history. Devoting time to these subjects is the best way to prepare children for their future university education and careers. If children enjoy playing sports, they should do it outside of school time. Other people, however, feel that physical education is an important part of a child’s education. According to this point of view, physical education teaches children important skills such as teamwork, leadership, and how to win and lose gracefully. In addition, physical activity classes are the best way to ensure that children get the regular physical exercise that they need to stay healthy. Finally, if children spend a little time each day being physically active, it helps them concentrate better on their academic work. I agree that devoting some school time to physical exercise is necessary. If schools don’t give importance to physical education, children will not learn that physical activity is important. They won’t get the exercise that they need to grow up healthy. It is not enough to say they can play games and sports in their free time. They won’t choose to do these things if no one teaches them that they are important. Academics are important, but physical education is important, too. Schools need to prepare children for all aspects of life, including taking care of their physical health.
The majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
devote most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
day to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
classes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
set aside
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time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and other no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
classes.
However
, not everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with this way of dividing up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
day. While there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
, others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point of view.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should be all about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
. According to this point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to spend their entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
day learning math, science, literature, and history. Devoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to these subjects is the best way to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for their future university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and careers. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
enjoy playing sports, they should do it outside of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
time.

Other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
however
, feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
part of a child’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. According to this point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
teaches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as teamwork, leadership, and how to win and lose
gracefully
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity classes are the best way to ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exercise that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to stay healthy.
Finally
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
each day being
physically
active, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them concentrate better on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
work.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that devoting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exercise is necessary. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
don’t give importance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will not learn that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
. They won’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the exercise that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to grow up healthy. It is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to say they can play games and sports in their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. They won’t choose to do these things if no one teaches them that they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

Academics are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
, too.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for all aspects of life, including taking care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
health.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
57Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child’s education. Others believe that it is more important to focus on academics during school time. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
312 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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