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Some people think books are losing importance as a source of information and entertainment. To what extend do you agree? v.1

Some people think books are losing importance as a source of information and entertainment. v. 1
Without any doubt, books have been the best source of data and entertainment for the ages. However, books are thought to be losing their significance. I totally agree with this view and in this essay I will explain how the availability of instruction on the internet and rapid growth of media endangered the existence of printed books. To begin with, because of the advent of the internet, all the necessary knowledge which we need is available at the click of a button. To concentrate, if we need some advice on a specific topic, we only have to Google it and it is accessible for free. Therefore, people tend to search intelligence online rather than spending money and time on books, because books are expensive and finding material from books take a lot of time. This is the evidence that the popularity of books is decreasing. Furthermore, there has been a significant growth in the reputation of visual media, which provide various types of amusement. For instance, currently, people prefer watching TV shows or funny videos on You Tube, rather than reading a book. They no longer read a book to relax their mind. Therefore, the demand for books as a source of entertainment has reduced noticeably. In conclusion, although books are the greatest source of reportage and entertainment, nowadays, people choose alternative means of amusement which are faster, cheaper and more convenient. Subsequently, the books are actually losing their readers.
Without any doubt,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
have been the best source of data and entertainment for the ages.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to be losing their significance. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view and in this essay I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how the availability of instruction on the internet and rapid growth of media endangered the existence of printed books.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the advent of the internet, all the necessary knowledge which we need is available at the click of a button. To concentrate, if we need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advice on a specific topic, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
Google it and it is accessible for free.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to search intelligence online
rather
than spending money and time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are expensive and finding material from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time. This is the evidence that the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is decreasing.

Furthermore
, there has been a significant growth in the reputation of visual media, which provide various types of amusement.
For instance
,
currently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer watching TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
videos on
This word is normally spelled as one.
You Tube
,
rather
than reading a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
. They no longer read a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
to relax their mind.
Therefore
, the demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
as a source of entertainment has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
noticeably
.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are the greatest source of reportage and entertainment, nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose alternative means of amusement which are faster, cheaper and more convenient.
Subsequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are actually losing their readers.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people think books are losing importance as a source of information and entertainment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
240 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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