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Some people think advertisements are misleading for children, while advertisers claim that they provide knowledge. Give your opinion. v.1

Some people think advertisements are misleading for children, while advertisers claim that they provide knowledge. Give your opinion. v. 1
While a section of the society firmly deems that commercials are guiding wards in a wrong direction, promoters argue about the edification they impart. I opine that adverts have cascading implications on offsprings as they only screen the pros of the product, and they intentionally hid the repercussions of the same good. To embark on, companies devise strategies to entice teenagers by enlarging the fake picture. Adolescents are the soft target, and young ones can coax the progenitors to surrender to the demands. Moreover, to the hike the sales, advertisers pay a hefty sum of money to the stars who are loved by the little ones. Mountain Dew, for instance, is a soft drink, is being promoted by Hritik Roshan. In the ad, the actor is shown performing daredevil stunts after sipping the drink. Hence, it persuades the young mind to take on the deadly perils that are next to impossible. To elucidate further, the mere motive of the advert world is to earn a handsome profit, no matter what pernicious aftermath is likely to apprehend. Health of children is on the receiving end. Eatables are preserved for a long time, and such meals have abundant preservatives to make them last long; however, the commercials do not showcase that detrimental aspect, and allure the innocent souls to purchase the venomous substance to quench the taste buds. Kinder Joy, for example, claims to be having nutritious chocolate balls, but the package does not contain fresh ingredients. To encapsulate, I concur with the former belief that adverters misguide the wards instead of enlightening them as being asserted by the promoters. Sugar-coated truth is served on the palate, and monetary return eclipse the well being of the adolescents.
While a section of the society
firmly
deems that commercials are guiding wards in a
wrong
direction, promoters argue about the edification they impart. I opine that adverts have cascading implications on
offsprings
as they
only
screen the pros of the product, and they
intentionally
hid the repercussions of the same
good
.

To embark on,
companies
devise strategies to entice
teenagers
by enlarging the fake picture. Adolescents are the soft target, and young
ones
can coax the progenitors to surrender to the demands.
Moreover
, to the hike the sales, advertisers pay a hefty sum of money to the stars who are
loved
by the
little
ones
. Mountain Dew,
for instance
, is a soft drink, is
being promoted
by
Hritik
Roshan. In the ad, the actor
is shown
performing daredevil stunts after sipping the drink.
Hence
, it persuades the young
mind to take
on the deadly perils that are
next
to impossible.

To elucidate
further
, the mere motive of the advert world is to earn a handsome profit, no matter what pernicious aftermath is likely to apprehend. Health of children is on the receiving
end
. Eatables
are preserved
for a long time, and such meals have abundant preservatives to
make
them last long;
however
, the commercials do not showcase that detrimental aspect, and allure the innocent souls to
purchase
the venomous substance to quench the taste buds. Kinder Joy,
for example
, claims to be having nutritious chocolate balls,
but
the package does not contain fresh ingredients.

To encapsulate, I concur with the former belief that
adverters
misguide the wards
instead
of enlightening them as
being asserted
by the promoters. Sugar-coated truth
is served
on the palate, and monetary return eclipse the
well being
of the adolescents.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think advertisements are misleading for children, while advertisers claim that they provide knowledge. Give your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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