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Some parents think that advertisements are misleading for children, while advertisers claim that they provide knowledge. Give your opinion. v.3

Some parents think that advertisements are misleading for children, while advertisers claim that they provide knowledge. Give your opinion. v. 3
Advertisements have become a major concern over recent years. While a number of parents believe that children are being manipulated by commercials, advertisement experts suggest that commercials give information. This essay will discuss how advertisements can be misguiding for children and why they can be informative and I will give my opinion. On the one hand, it is thought that advertisements, which are broadcasted on TV, and published on social media, can directly influence the child's mind, who the advertising often considers as a vulnerable target group. Today, young children are more likely to believe easily what they see, and hear, compared to adults. For example, TV abounds fast food advertisements, which especially target children, and guarantee gifts for children. Children, who watch these commercials, want to consume fast-food, which contains both high levels of calorie and fat, and also are unhealthy, as a daily meal. Moreover, the excessive consumption of fast-food leads to childhood obesity. Therefore, advertisements, which help advertisers make much more money, is clearly a misguiding tool for youngsters. On the other hand, adverts may be educational for children. It is not fair that every commercial is harmful for children because some advertisements give knowledge and information children about healthy life. For instance, advertisements can instil children to brush their teeth twice a day, and wash their hands frequently. Moreover, some adverts about sports encourage young children to engage in sports activities. Thus, ads can be informative and educational for children. In conclusion, children are surrounded by ads in daily life. In my opinion, many commercials, which promote unhealthy foods, can be eventually misguiding for children; however, some commercials may inform children about hygiene and health issues.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisements
have become a major concern over recent years. While a number of parents believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
being manipulated
by commercials,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
experts suggest that commercials give information. This essay will discuss how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
can be misguiding for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and why they can be informative and I will give my opinion.

On the one hand, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
, which
are broadcasted
on TV, and published on social media, can
directly
influence the child's mind, who the advertising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
considers as a vulnerable target group.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are more likely to believe
easily
what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, and hear, compared to adults.
For example
, TV abounds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
, which
especially
target
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, and guarantee gifts for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
these commercials, want to consume
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food, which contains both high levels of calorie and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, and
also
are unhealthy, as a daily meal.
Moreover
, the excessive consumption of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food leads to childhood obesity.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
advertisers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
much more money, is
clearly
a misguiding tool for youngsters.

On the other hand
, adverts may be educational for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. It is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
is harmful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
give knowledge and information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about healthy life.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
can
Possible spelling mistake. 'instil' is British English.
instil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to brush their teeth twice a day, and wash their hands
frequently
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adverts about sports encourage young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to engage in sports activities.
Thus
, ads can be informative and educational for children.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are surrounded
by ads in daily life. In my opinion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
commercials, which promote unhealthy foods, can be
eventually
misguiding for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
;
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
commercials may inform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about hygiene and health issues.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some parents think that advertisements are misleading for children, while advertisers claim that they provide knowledge. Give your opinion. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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