Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think a job not only provides income but also social life. Others think it is better to develop social life with people you do not work with. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.3

Some people think a job not only provides income but also social life. Others think it is better to develop social life with people you do not work with. v. 3
The idea is divided into whether people should develop social life with their colleagues or they would widen the network with those unrelated to their work. However, there are some benefits of both views, I would argue that created a new relationship would be a great opportunity to have more experiences. On the one hand, there are some reasons why many supportive that job not only provides income but also social life. In the first place, it is obvious that social connections at work can be fostered when there are shared interests between colleagues. For example, by increasing the duration of time working together, personnel gain mutual understanding and overcome obstacles, which result in bonding. In the second place, wages are considered a priority that allows people to earn money and have a reasonable quality of life. In fact, every time a worker gets a raise or receives a salary, not only improve their mood and outlook at work but also their performance. On the other hand, this does not mean that socializing outside the work is not beneficial. Firstly, personal relationships outside the workplace allow people to broaden their horizons in various areas. For instance, table man often accompanies a sedentary lifestyle and if his friend is a doctor, his advice on relieving back-pain is highly beneficial. Moreover, in order to maintain professionalism, employees are advised to keep a certain distance from each other. This can be shown by the example that workplace relationship may be taken lightly, resulting in productivity reduction, if the working environment is too friendly. In general, the above-mentioned facts have created an idea that people should start to consider companies and corporations more than just places to make a living.
The
idea
is divided
into whether
people
should develop social life with their
colleagues or
they would widen the network with those unrelated to their
work
.
However
, there are
some
benefits of both views, I would argue that created a new relationship would be a great opportunity to have more experiences.

On the one hand, there are
some
reasons why
many
supportive that job not
only
provides income
but
also
social life. In the
first
place, it is obvious that social connections at
work
can
be fostered
when there
are shared
interests between colleagues.
For example
, by increasing the duration of time working together, personnel gain mutual understanding and overcome obstacles, which result in bonding. In the second place, wages
are considered
a priority that
allows
people
to earn money and have a reasonable quality of life. In fact, every time a worker
gets
a raise or receives a salary, not
only
improve
their mood and outlook at
work
but
also
their performance.

On the other hand
, this does not mean that socializing outside the
work
is not beneficial.
Firstly
, personal relationships outside the workplace
allow
people
to broaden their horizons in various areas.
For instance
, table
man
often
accompanies a sedentary lifestyle and if his friend is a doctor, his advice on relieving back-pain is
highly
beneficial.
Moreover
, in order to maintain professionalism, employees
are advised
to
keep
a certain distance from each other. This can
be shown
by the example that workplace relationship may
be taken
lightly
, resulting in productivity reduction, if the working environment is too friendly.

In general
, the above-mentioned facts have created an
idea
that
people
should
start
to consider
companies
and corporations more than
just
places to
make
a living.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think a job not only provides income but also social life. Others think it is better to develop social life with people you do not work with. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts