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Some people think a job not only provides income but also social life. Others think it is better to develop social life with people you do not work with. Discuss both view and give your own opinion v.2

Some people think a job not only provides income but also social life. Others think it is better to develop social life with people you do not work with. 2
It is often believed by some that the key measure of intelligence is the success. However, there are people who are of the opinion that there are other ways of measuring it. In my opinion, I believe that success is not a true indicator of brilliance, and ability to adapt and to learn from mistakes actually makes an individual smart. First and foremost, not all the successful persons are brilliant. Success is often driven by hard work and the right opportunity. There are instances when a diligent person is unable to showcase his talent or skills due to dearth of opportunities, whereas a less intelligent person may succeed by grabbing an opportunity merely by his luck or following immoral means like bribing and cheating. Moreover, a change in the perspective of youth, emphasizing more on happiness and family time rather than working hard to achieve high position in a company, does not make them less intelligent. So, success is definitely not the best criteria to measure a person’s level of intelligence. There are other factors such as an ability to cope with a challenge and adapting yourself to the situation that really helps an individual to succeed. It is often seen that resilient persons, whether they are intelligent or not, are more successful than others. They fail a number of times and bounce back with double efforts and eventually, they succeed. Learning from past mistakes also contributes towards this success because a person can only succeed in multiple attempts if he resorts to improving his abilities by working on his mistakes and shortfalls. For instance, a recent survey of 40 successful entrepreneurs in the U. K. revealed that resilience was a key to their success as they had failed many times before achieving the success. In conclusion, success is an indicator of hard-work and resilience, and not the intelligence. In fact, being intelligent does not make a person successful. There are other factors like hard-work and dedication that contributes towards the way of success.
It is
often
believed by
some
that the key measure of intelligence is the
success
.
However
, there are
people
who are of the opinion that there are
other
ways of measuring it. In my opinion, I believe that
success
is not a true indicator of brilliance, and ability to adapt and to learn from mistakes actually
makes
an individual smart.

First
and foremost, not all the
successful
persons
are brilliant.
Success
is
often
driven by
hard
work and the right opportunity. There are instances when a diligent
person
is unable to showcase his talent or
skills
due to dearth of opportunities, whereas a less
intelligent
person
may
succeed
by grabbing an opportunity
merely
by his luck or following immoral means like bribing and cheating.
Moreover
, a
change
in the perspective of youth, emphasizing more on happiness and family time
rather
than working
hard
to achieve high position in a
company
, does not
make
them less
intelligent
.
So
,
success
is definitely not the best criteria to measure a
person’s
level of intelligence.

There are
other
factors such as an ability to cope with a challenge and adapting yourself to the situation that
really
helps
an individual to
succeed
. It is
often
seen
that resilient
persons
, whether they are
intelligent
or not, are more
successful
than others. They fail a number of times and bounce back with double efforts and
eventually
, they
succeed
. Learning from past mistakes
also
contributes towards this
success
because
a
person
can
only
succeed
in multiple attempts if he resorts to improving his abilities by working on his mistakes and shortfalls.
For instance
, a recent survey of 40
successful
entrepreneurs in the U. K. revealed that resilience was a key to their
success
as they had failed
many
times
before
achieving the success.

In conclusion
,
success
is an indicator of
hard
-work and resilience, and not the intelligence. In fact, being
intelligent
does not
make
a
person
successful
. There are
other
factors like
hard
-work and dedication that contributes towards the way of
success
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think a job not only provides income but also social life. Others think it is better to develop social life with people you do not work with. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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