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Some people say it is important to keep your home and workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this? v.1

Some people say it is important to keep your home and workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this? v. 1
Owing to the increased efficiency of work and reduced accidents that proper organisation confers, it is believed by many people that it is highly paramount to ensure that both work and home front are kept neat and properly organised at all times. In my own opinion, I completely agree with this view. Firstly, it is vital that the office is kept clean and documents are kept in order because it ensures that work is carried out efficiently and timely. In other words, a properly arranged office will facilitate easy movement through files, and this will ensure that job is done properly and in time without any delay that might occur if the office was kept untidy office. What's more, if the equipment or materials used previously for a job was not properly stored in the right position, delay is inevitable if the tools are to be used subsequently. For example, it has been reported by the Organisation for Skilled Labour in Nigeria, that there is a higher probability to fail at a task or not meet up with a deadline if the office environment is not kept clean and tidy. This buttresses the importance of having a neat office. Another point to consider is that in order to prevent home accidents, it is essential that the house is kept tidy. To put in another way, there is a high probability of accidents if the home is left unclean and materials are kept in the wrong places. Furthermore, there are many dangerous objects used at home, especially in the kitchen, if they are not properly stored, this might result in fatal accidents or even death especially instances where there are children in the home. For example, as illustrated in a movie "death at home" a mother mistakenly left a piece of glass on the table and on stepping out of the house her only child broke the glass and started chewing it. Although the child was rescued in time, this would have been avoided if the woman had returned the glass back to its appropriate place. To conclude, it is essential to keep both home and office tidy and well arranged in order to improve efficiency and reduce accident.
Owing to the increased efficiency of work and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
that proper
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
confers, it
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that it is
highly
paramount to ensure that both work and home front are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
neat and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
properly
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
at all times. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view.

Firstly
, it is vital that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
clean and documents are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in order
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it ensures that work
is carried
out
efficiently
and timely.
In other words
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
properly
arranged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
will facilitate easy movement through files, and this will ensure that job
is done
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
properly
and in time without any delay that might occur if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
untidy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
. What's more, if the equipment or materials
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
previously for a job was not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
properly
stored in the right position, delay is inevitable if the tools are to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
subsequently
.
For example
, it has
been reported
by the
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisation' is British English.
Organisation
for Skilled
Possible spelling mistake. 'Labour' is British English.
Labour
in Nigeria, that there is a higher probability to fail at a task or not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
up with a deadline if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
environment is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
clean and tidy. This buttresses the importance of having a neat office.

Another point to consider is that in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
, it is essential that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
tidy. To put in another way, there is a high probability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
if the home is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
unclean and materials are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
places.
Furthermore
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
objects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
at home,
especially
in the kitchen, if they are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
properly
stored, this might result in fatal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
or even death
especially
instances where there are children in the home.
For example
, as illustrated in a movie
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
death at home
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
a mother
mistakenly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
a piece of glass on the table and on stepping out of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
child broke the glass and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
chewing it. Although the child
was rescued
in time, this would have
been avoided
if the woman had returned the glass back to its appropriate place.

To conclude
, it is essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
both home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
tidy and well arranged in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
efficiency and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say it is important to keep your home and workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
368 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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